


We're Only Human

by Unconditional_Secrets



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Blood, Death, Feels, InjuredLevi, M/M, Titans, attackontitan, ereri, ilovethissomuch, levixeren - Freeform, life - Freeform, otp, riren - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-05
Updated: 2017-05-13
Packaged: 2018-02-23 01:55:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 22,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2529731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unconditional_Secrets/pseuds/Unconditional_Secrets
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>《   Levi has always been a cold<br/>person but, there's more than what<br/>meets the eye. As many things<br/>change, Eren begins to realize that<br/>not everything can have a happy<br/>ending.<br/>I mean, we're human after all.》</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Beginning (Short Chapter)

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this is my first Fanfiction on this website soo... I'm new at this XD. Anyway, without further ado, Enjoy!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 《 Levi has always been a cold  
> person but, there's more than what  
> meets the eye. As many things  
> change, Eren begins to realize that  
> not everything can have a happy  
> ending.  
> I mean, we're human after all.》

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this is my first Fanfiction on this site so... Yeah I'm new at this XD. This is actually my first Attack on Titan fanfic so hopefully you guys like it! Please tell me what you think! But without further ado, enjoy!!

"We can't risk that again Erwin." Levi hissed. "Too many soldiers died the first try..." Everything fell silent as Hanji and Erwin transferred their attention to Levi. Multiple painful memories ran through Levi's head. He still hasn't gotten over what happened on the previous expedition to reclaim Wall Maria. Although, Hanji immediately realized what was going on in Levi's mind. 

"Well, maybe this time it will work," As Hanji finished her sentence, Eren, Mikasa, and Armin quietly walked by the almost closed wooden door that led into the room. The three were on their way to grab a bite to eat when they overheard Erwin, Hanji, and Levi's discussion. All three paused by the door. 

"What are they talking about?" Eren whispered but was quickly silenced by Mikasa slapping her hand over his mouth. Eren didn't hesitate to rip Mikasa's palm off of his lips. 

Erwin pondered as he looked between the planning papers and the single candles that dimly lit the crammed room. 

"Well our missions are never safe. Plus the Female Titan will no longer be an issue-" Erwin's sentence was interrupted by the sound of Levi's fist slamming against the wooden table. The table shook for a moment making the hot tea in Levi's white teacup sway back and forth. Eren, Mikasa, and Armin all jumped from the sound. 

"I'm not going to let another one of my soldiers die in vain!" Levi's silver eyes glared into Erwin's soul, sending a shiver down Erwin's spine. His glare alone was enough to terrify anybody. Eren leaned in to listen. He had never heard Levi speak like that before. 

"I'm not loosing another soldier Erwin." Levi repeated. "I swear, if you go through with this..." Hanji placed her gentle hands on Levi's tense shoulders. 

"Levi," she spoke quietly. "We can't control who dies and who doesn't. It's a part of the job. Plus Erwin's right. We won't have to worry about the Female Titan anymore."

"What about the Armored Titan? What about the Colossal Titan? Don't any of you think this through?!" Levi stood up out of his chair abruptly and started for the door. 

"Levi!" Hanji shouted. 

Just before Levi could reach the door handle (which scared the heck out of the three standing on the other side of the door.) he paused for a brief moment. "Just think about it a little more," Levi spoke with a serious and annoyed tone to his voice. "I don't want any unnecessary casualties. I'm just saying you need to think this through. You only thought of this yesterday," Levi turned around with a dead serious expression on his face, almost looking like complete frustration. "How did you feel when everyone died?" Erwin listened to that sentence carefully. He knew exactly who Levi was referring to. 

"Your squad helped us all," Erwin began cautiously. "They ended up making the Female Titan tired so we could get the advantage." Levi stared (more like glared) at Erwin with an 'are you kidding me?' expression plastered on his face with his mouth slightly open in annoyance. Eren watched in complete awe. 

"Eren," Mikasa whispered as she tugged his sleeve. "Come on." Armin and Mikasa rose from the ground and began heading the direction they intended to go in the first place.  
"Eren," Mikasa repeated. 

"Hold on a second Mikasa," Eren replied back. 

"No Eren, we'll get caught. Come on." Mikasa continuously nudged Eren to get up although, Eren wanted to stay and watch. "Eren!" Mikasa silently nudged. Eren's attention was still on Levi. 

"Are you serious Erwin?" Levi growled back. "You're trying to tell me what I want to hear but it's time to face facts." The tone to Levi's voice was able to pierce through Erwin's mind. "Don't proceed with the expedition." Levi finished and opened the door to see Eren scrambling to run off but Eren soon landed flat on his face. Eren's body trembled with fear, he was absolutely certain that he was going to be kicked...hard. Eren held his arms up to his face, bracing for impact...nothing happened. Levi had turned around and walked the other direction, completely ignoring Eren. Also ignoring the fact that Eren could have been there to hear the entire conversation he had with Erwin. Although, Levi was too agitated to care about it. 

"Heichou?" Eren called curiously, but Levi had already disappeared down the dark hallway. His silhouette was visible for a split moment then faded back into the shadows. Eren sat on the floor and stared at the empty hallway until Mikasa placed her hand on his shoulder. Eren flinched out of her grip as soon as her hand made contact with his shoulder. 

"Don't worry about him," Hanji walked to Eren's side as she stared down the hallway with him. "He's just a little... um..." Hanji bit her tongue realizing she was saying too much. Eren met Hanji's gaze with an awkward silence accompanying them. "Anyway, I thought we could do another test tomorrow! When you fought the Female Titan your strength was believable!" Hanji started to jump and down uncontrollably as she went on and on about Eren's titan powers. 

"Oi Hanji!" Erwin called out. Hanji's attention turned to Erwin while her body stopped jumping up and down. "Let the poor boy be. You've been glued to his hip ever since he joined the Scouts." Hanji's enormous grin steadily turned into a frown. Extreme disappointment was plastered on her face. 

"It's alright Hanji," Eren rose from the ground. "I'll meet you by the picnic tables tomorrow." Eren smiled trying to lift Hanji's spirits... Which didn't take long. The grin she had on her face grew three times larger and her eyes lit up tremendously. 

"Okay!" She screeched so loud it could make your ears bleed. "Yahoo!" She screeched even louder as she ran down the hallway. Eren held his head and sighed heavily. 

LLLLL

Eren ate his piece of bread silently as he thought of Levi. It was strange to see him show that type of emotion and frustration. Levi was usually an emotionless, cold person. The main thing Eren focused on, was how Levi reacted when he starting talking about his soldiers and people dying in vain. There was so much about Levi that Eren wanted to know. 

"Eren," Armin whispered. Eren jumped in reaction and nearly choking on his bread. 

"Jeez Armin, don't scare me like that." Eren gasped. 

"Sorry, but you kept looking off. Is something on your mind?" 

"No!" Eren answered immediately. Eren realized he might have answered a little too quickly. Armin looked at Eren even weirder now. "Well, I... uh... was just thinking about what Erwin and those guys were talking about when we walked by. I think we might be going on another expedition." Eren frowned noticeably. 

"Does that bother you?" Armin asked with a tone of concern. 

"Well I just keep thinking about the last expedition... I don't want everyone trying to protect me and die for no reason. It makes me feel like everyone's death is my responsibility." Eren choked on his words and covered his mouth, then buried his head in his hands. Eren desperately tried to keep his tears at bay. He felt his right eye start to drip with tears. Eren felt Armin's hand land on his shoulder. 

"Eren," he spoke. "That was three months ago. You're not still thinking about that are you?" Eren didn't answer, he was nearly choking on his own tears. He couldn't even think about speaking. 

Armin rubbed Eren's upper back softly and slowly, attempting to try and calm him down. Armin felt Eren's breathing slow down and become more even. 

"Come on brat," a cold voice called out from behind. "You're still blaming yourself?" Eren lifted up his head and saw Levi holding his regular white teacup with piping hot tea swaying inside. Levi sat down at the table beside where Eren was sitting and took a sip of his tea. "I thought I told you before, no one could have predicted the outcome. That's that."

"Heichou..." Eren gazed at Levi. So many questions ran through Eren's head. He wanted to ask Levi each and every one but Eren kept his mouth shut for his own sake of not getting beaten. Levi's shining silver eyes stared straight into Eren's green eyes. Levi set his teacup down beside him on the table. 

"So don't feel guilty." Levi looked down at his hands. "It wasn't your fault..." Levi sat in silence for a moment. The way he was talking was like he was telling all of this to himself. Eren, Mikasa, and Armin stared at Levi in silence. "Dammit." Levi winced before hurrying off in a huff, taking his tea with him. Eren kept his eyes on Levi as he exited.

"Oh my gosh," Eren held his hand over his mouth swiftly before folding his arms on the table and placing his head on his arms. "I'm such an ass!" 

"Eren?" Armin nudged Eren's shoulder. 

"He's been trying so hard to forget the last expedition and I just freaking reminded him of it! Oh my gosh! I'm so stupid!" Eren lifted his head up and ran his fingers through his hair. 

"We've all been trying to forget it." Mikasa finally spoke. "It hurt everyone in some way... Some more than others." Mikasa took another sip of water. Eren let out another sigh. "It looks like this one got him the worst."

"Well he lost his entire squad," Armin added in. "But I don't even think shed a tear." Eren turned his head to the side and scanned Armin's facial expression. Armin folded his arms and thought to himself deeply. 

LLLLL

The rest of the day dragged on. There was nothing that needed to get done. No major titan attacks, no cleaning to do, no researching, nothing. The only thing that was really on anyone's mind was Christmas. Even though Christmas was less than four weeks away, people still talked about it. Christmas was a time of year that everyone took a break from mourning the loss of their friends and come together instead. Broken pieces are glued back together and spirits are lifted. Instead of mourning, people celebrate the amazing lives their fallen comrades had for the time they had to enjoy it. 

Later at dinner that day, that was actually what everyone talked about. 

"Oh I love Christmas!" Hanji squealed. She went on and on along with the group while Eren sat back and thought to himself. Personally, his favorite thing about winter was the snow. He pictured in his head the ice lands that Armin had told him about. Usually, they would get a small sprinkle of snow, or some years it would be enough to cover the strands of grass slightly. He picture the ground completely white and covered with snow and how beautiful it would look like. Eren shivered at the thought of a frigid wind brushing his face which sadly, wrenched him back to reality. 

"And Levi Heichou's birthday is on Christmas!" Hanji grinned. Levi shot her a piercing glare with his steely grey eyes as he paused just before he took a sip of tea. 

"Really!" Krista smiled with excitement. Her spark of excitement ignited a huge wave of commotion around the table directed at Levi.

"I didn't know your birthday was on Christmas!" Jean yelled. Everyone else continued to pay all of their attention to their Corporal. Everyone was excited to hear that a birthday was coming up... All except Levi himself. 

Levi shot Hanji a 'why the hell did you just say that?' scowl. Hanji smiled basically saying she had no regrets. Levi looked back at everyone's glowing, excited faces. His usual annoyed expression was plastered on his face. Levi closed his eyes and shook his head. Levi grabbed the back of his chair and got up. Hanji's smile faded as Levi started for the door. Everyone's chatter died down as well.

"What's his problem?" Connie snickered. Everyone's eyes widened as their attention turned to Connie. The realization of what he just said, hit Connie like a punch in the face. Little did he know, Levi didn't exit the room yet. Levi paused just before he reached the wooden door and scowled back at Connie. 

Connie's fear was easy to point out by his facial expression. Although, Levi's next move was shocking to everyone. Levi just turned around and walked out while slamming the door behind him. The look on everybody's face was priceless. Their jaws dropped straight to the ground with scattered gasps heard around the table. Especially Eren. The statement Connie spoke was like he was asking to get a beating from Levi. 

"Is something up with him?" Hanji whispered into Erwin's ear. Erwin shrugged in response. 

Eren stared blankly at the wooden door which was slammed shut. No one thought it was even possible for Levi to act like this. There was so much about Levi, Eren didn't know. More like, there was so much about Levi, Eren wanted to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me why you thought of this chapter! It helps a lot :D. Did you notice that Levi isn't acting like his usual self? Hmmm... What could be wrong? You'll have to wait and see :)


	2. Wonder (Short Chapter)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, another short chapter, don't worry it will get better I promise :D

Wonder

"EREN!" Hanji screamed at the top of her lungs. She jumped frantically up and down, waving her arms in the air like a maniac trying to get Eren's attention. Eren squinted from the bright sunlight as he turned his attention to the source of the sound. As soon as Eren met Hanji's glance, Hanji gestured him towards her. Eren sprinted across the bright green grass with a gentle breeze brushing past his face. 

Birds quietly chirped from the high pine trees while some flew with the wind. It was a really cold day that day. Grey, lifeless clouds hung overhead, making the sky look dull. A frigid breeze was enough to make Eren shiver and cross his arms over his chest, trying to warm himself up. Even with his Scouting Legion cloak and jacket it was still freezing. 

"Hey Hanji," Eren approached Hanji cautiously. She was filled with curiosity and it was easy to point out from her bug-eyed expression. 

"Hey Eren," Hanji's tone was surprising mild and calm compared to her previous squeal. 

"What are we doing today?" 

"Well I thought we could just hang out for today and spare you from cleaning something that's already clean." Hanji giggled while Eren did the same. "Honestly, sometimes I just don't know about Levi." Hanji grinned and shook her head as she looked down at the ground. "Here let's walk a bit." Eren nodded and gave a small smile. Inside, he just prayed that she wouldn't go on a rant about titans. 

The whole world around them was silent. No leaves on the trees, no birds to be found, and the wind was dying down. The only thing that made a noise was the sound of their feet hitting the ground with each step and the left over leaves from fall silently crunching beneath them. 

"Hanji," Eren spoke with an undertone. Hanji head swooped around towards Eren's brooding expression. "I know this is a stupid question but, do you ever get scared?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like, are you ever afraid of what's going to happen next?" Eren's expression darkened with painful thoughts racing through his scrambled mind. Hanji looked back up at the path in front of them. 

"Sometimes," She replied in a low tone. Eren's frown hung on his face as his eyes stuck to the ground. "But when I'm with my comrades, I feel stronger." Eren glanced up at the microscopic smile peering from the sides of Hanji's lips. "We've all been through hell at one point, but that just shows how strong we all are." Eren took one more look up at Hanji before looking back down. "Why did you ask?" 

"Well," Eren bit his lip gently. "I'm scared...really scared. I'm scared that I'll loose control, I'm scared about who will die next, I'm scared of...death." Silence took control again as both of them paused for a moment. 

"Eren," Hanji shattered the silence between the two. "You've lost control once, and you've learned so much since then. I honestly have no worries that, that will happen again." Hanji smiled. Eren's eyes lit up with a hint of hope and inspiration.

"But isn't it your duty to kill me if I do lose control?" Eren transferred his attention back to Hanji. 

"No, it's Levi's duty to do that. We constantly try to change the council's mind but their minds are set. We try to compromise and change it on our own but sadly we don't have the power to do that. Levi especially. He's trying his best to persuade them all-"

"Wait what?" Eren interrupted.   
"Levi?" Hanji nodded her head.

"Believe it or not, he believes you can be a very useful asset against the titans." Hanji continued with her voice quieting down. "He thinks that killing you would be a huge lost for mankind and that we would be better off with you fighting by humanity's side. Especially after what happened with the Female Titan few weeks ago. It was like you proved yourself to him or you gained his trust." It went silent after Hanji finished. Eren went into deep thought as he stared down at the small, bright green strands of grass. Levi was one giant mystery wrapped up in a protective layer to Eren. Levi was like a puzzle that had none of its pieces fit together. 

"Anyway, as I was saying, we need to keep the thought of death at the back of our minds. If we think about who will die next, or how we'll die, we won't be able to fight. Fear will make the best of us. As soldiers, we can't let that happen." Hanji's tone was uplifting and inspirational and her wise words echoed through Eren's head. 

"You're right Hanji," Eren concluded with a sigh. 

"You're so brave Eren," Hanji spoke out of the blue. 

"What do you-"

"You faced the Colossal Titan head on, you jumped into a titan's mouth to save your friend, you defied all odds by lifting the boulder, you faced the Female Titan head on too. Twice actually. I'm not sure if anyone's told you this yet but, people are calling you 'Humanity's Hope'. We all believe in you Eren, so there's no reason to feel down about yourself." 

Eren's mouth fell open in surprise. He didn't know any of this. 

"Wow," He whispered to himself. "I never knew that..." Eren's voice fell silent as his face relaxed. "Thank you Hanji, I really needed that."

The rest of the walk was peaceful and relaxing, until Hanji started rambling on about Eren in titan form. Her monotonous speech sucked the life out of Eren, until the point where his brain hurt. Thank gosh they arrived back at the headquarters before Hanji started talking about Sonny and Bean. Now that was a topic Eren didn't want to get into. 

"Anyway Eren, I guess I should let you go. Training's probably going to start soon and I need to get back and look through more documents and paperwork." Hanji sighed. 

"Okay, I'll see you later Hanji," Eren began to walk off as he waved back at Hanji. Hanji repeated the same gesture. 

LLLLL

Eren rushed over to the training area with his green cloak flowing behind him. The frigid wind continued to stick around in the thin air. Eren watched as each breath that escaped his mouth, transform into a small cloud of fog. Mikasa, Armin and everyone else were already there. 

"Hey Eren," Armin greeted, "where were you?"

"Hanji," Eren simply replied. Armin just gave a small "ah" and looked back down at his 3D Maneuver Gear to make sure everything was okay. Eren took note of Armin's actions and checked his own gear himself. 

Training was very similar to the training cadets had to do. Simple 3DMG training and practicing slicing the nape of a titan's neck. Some days the training would include hand-to-hand combat and different techniques in all areas. 

"Oi, you brats coming or what?" Levi called out from afar. 

"Yes sir!" Eren immediately straightened his back and saluted. Levi just gave one more quick glance then turned towards the training area. The agitated facial expression on Mikasa's face grew larger with hate. Eren looked over and saw her demon-like emotion and quickly started to walk towards the training area. 

"Alright, you brats know the drill," Levi began, "stay inside the boundaries and slice the hell out of the practice titans. After about twenty minutes we'll take a break."

"Yes sir," Eren and the others replied. Levi adjusted his 3D maneuver gear and took off into the forest, followed by everyone else. 

LLLLL

The wind whipped Eren's face as he flew through the forest. He reached down and prepared his blades as he saw a practice titan behind a large pine tree. Eren was filled with confidence when he realized that no one was around. Although, that didn't last for long. When Eren was about three meters away from slicing the practice titan, two hooks of someone's 3D maneuver gear shot just past the "titan's" nape. Eren immediately pulled back and stopped to see who it was. 

A green blur sped past the titan's nape and cut a perfect chunk of the titan's nape off. The unknown person slowed down and paused on a tree branch. Their piercing eyes glanced at their cut in the titan's nape, and an unsatisfied expression took over their face. Eren's eyes adjusted and were able to focus on who it was. Of course, who else would it be but Levi. 

Levi swiftly turned around and shot off in the other direction. Eren watched as his corporal flew off into the forest. He was so fast, so quick, so skilled, so...strong. Eren never really saw Levi's skills before. He only knew what he was told, but never knew how amazing he was.   
Eren felt a strange sensation in his chest. He realized that his heart was beating faster for some unknown reason. The strange thing was, it was beating unlike it ever did before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I know, this chapter was crappy. But it WILL get better! I'll post the next chapter soon! ;D


	3. Confusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I thought I could be nice to you guys and post chapter 3 early. Plus to help make up for the horrible previous chapter. So this is the chapter where stuff gets real. This is what my chapters are going to look like so yeah :D enjoy!!

Eren stared up at the large, golden clouds that hung peacefully in the orange sky. The sun slowly descended, creating vibrant, bold shades of red, orange, and gold. The colors glazing Eren's face and surroundings with a gentle shade of golden orange. Eren wore his regular green-tinted long shirt and white pants with his 3D maneuver gear body straps. He laid back onto the soft grass that tickled the back of his neck as he made contact.

There weren't too many times that people could relax when humanity was under constant attack of titans. Although, when that chance came, people took it. 

Eren thought to himself as he took a deep breath in through his nose and out through his mouth. He thought about what Hanji had told him and realized that he couldn't keep blaming himself for everyone's death. He couldn't continue keep dwelling on that thought. The past is in the past, it was time to move on. It's something every soldier needs to learn how to do. They needed to accept the fact that close comrades will fall in the line of duty and there was nothing they could do about it. 

Eren took another deep breath, clearing his head and just focusing on the fiery sky with the gentle breeze stroking his face. Eren began to feel slightly drowsy. Everything was silent except the soft whistling of the breeze against his ears and the odd chirp of a bird here and there. Although, footsteps in the grass soon broke the peaceful silence. 

"Mind if I join you?" A voice like silk whispered from behind. Eren tilted his head, trying to see who was behind him. Someone with jet black hair walked over to his side. Only after they sat down, Eren realized who it was. 

"Heichou?" Eren questioned the person's identity, testing to see if he was right, in fact, he was. Levi sat down slowly beside Eren with his eyes glued to the bold sky. He was in his regular uniform which was surprising considering how late it was. 

"It's a pretty sunset isn't it?" Levi's voice was soothing, and so... soft.

"Yeah," Eren replied in a whisper. Both gazed up and awed at the sight of the gorgeous sunset. Eren looked back up at Levi's face which was kissed by the color that the dying sun produced. Something definitely wasn't right with Levi. He was so out of character. Eren never thought in a million years that he would be laying next to Levi watching the sunset peacefully. Eren never thought Levi would even want to sit with Eren and watch a sunset with him. 

What Eren was about to say, he knew it was a huge risk of getting his ass kicked, "Heichou, you're not really acting like yourself. Is something the matter?" Eren quickly regretted what he let slip out of his mouth. He tensed up in result. 

Levi looked down at Eren's turquoise eyes that glistened in the light. Eren was shocked to see that Levi didn't shoot him a glare, instead, it was a soft and tender look with no smile. It was extremely strange. Levi was always unable to show any emotion. 

Levi didn't reply but just turned back and looked at the view. Eren's eyes were still glued on Levi. The small amount of gold tinted sunlight continued to glaze Levi's soft skin. Eren couldn't take his eyes off of him even if he wanted to. A strange, warm, tingling feeling surged through Eren's spine. It wasn't fear, it wasn't anxiousness, he couldn't pin point the feeling. It was hard to explain.

There was a long silence between the two before Levi spoke in a half whisper, "Just stop blaming yourself Eren," The unknown feeling Eren was experiencing got stronger. "We have to move on at some point." Levi's voice was piercingly cold, but felt somehow...warm at the same time. "So stop dwelling on it." Levi's tone was back to normal. As he finished his sentence, he too laid down on the soft grass. 

Eren suddenly felt his heart start to beat faster. Eren didn't know what to think. Maybe it was because his captain had never acted like this before? Maybe it was just the feeling of peacefulness that was amplified by the stunning sunset? It was a complete mystery. 

LLLLL

The sky had darkened into its regular black shade of nighttime. Bright, scattered stars slowly appeared out of the darkness. The large sun fled the sky to show another day had ended. Levi's attention was still fixed on the sky. His usual bored expression hung on his face in the silence of the night. Levi glanced over his shoulder and saw Eren's eyes closed. Eren's chest slowly rose and fell in a peaceful sleeping pattern. His face was so peaceful and fragile-looking as he slept. 

A chilling breeze swept through the air, causing Eren and Levi to shiver. Levi noticed Eren shake slightly from the frigid wind. The temperature rapidly began to decrease by the minute. Levi slid his jacket off of his shoulders and placed it on Eren's chest as a blanket. He slowly and cautiously picked Eren up in his arms, careful not to wake him up. 

Levi silently walked back to the headquarters with Eren's body heat keeping his chest warm from the cold. Eren was lighter than Levi had expected. 

Levi glanced down at Eren's peaceful sleeping face. His gentle eyes shut, his body limp and defenseless, and his mouth slightly open. His breathing was even and deep. Levi looked back up and focused on his destination. 

"You're quite warm brat," Levi whispered, knowing Eren was fully asleep. "Maybe it's just the titan side of you." Levi looked down back at Eren and stopped walking. "What are you fighting for? What drives you forward? What gives you the strength to keep going?" Levi knew he wasn't going to get an answer but asked anyway. "I've never met someone so determined as you." With one silent sigh, Levi looked back up and continued walking. 

Eren's eyes slowly opened slightly. He saw Levi's face staring straight ahead. Eren was half-asleep but didn't try to wake up and didn't hear anything his corporal said. Levi's body was so warm and his jacket helped contain the heat. Eren realized he must have fallen asleep. Although, before he knew it, he fell back to sleep again. It was late and he was exhausted, so he didn't need to force himself to wake up. 

Levi pushed open the front wooden door with his back, being cautious about Eren. A wave of comfortable warmth wrapped around Eren and Levi like a blanket. 

Erwin walked around the corner and stopped in surprise in reaction to what he saw. Levi walked closer to Erwin with Eren in his arms. 

"Is he hurt?" Erwin rushed over to Levi with a worried tone. 

"No," Levi replied in a whisper. "Damn brat fell asleep outside." Erwin exhaled in relief. "I'm just going to take him to his room."

Erwin nodded in agreement. Levi continued walking down the hallway with Eren in his arms. Erwin stared back at Levi and watched as he carried Eren down the hallway. Erwin tried to hide in a smile/smirk but failed miserably. Lucky for him, Levi didn't look back to see. 

Levi finally arrived at Eren's bedroom and once again he pushed the door open with his back, being careful about Eren. Levi gently placed Eren down on his soft and comfy bed. He took his jacket off of Eren then carefully replaced it with a real blanket. Levi folded his jacket on his arm and started for the door. Before he closed the door, he turned around and whispered,  
"Goodnight you insufferable brat."

LLLLL

Eren's heart pounded against his chest rapidly. He could barely breathe. He couldn't even move his legs. Nothing worked. He couldn't scream, breathe, move, or think. The only thing that did work was the horrifying sensation of fear that engulfed Eren's trembling body. He could hear his name being yelled in every direction around him, but he couldn't see anything but black. His eyes stung as painful tears swelled up inside them then soon poured out. It was it. This was the end. Although, out of all of the people who shouted his name, one voice stood out. 

"Eren!" Levi pierced through everyone else's voices. Eren was finally able to move his head. He watched as Levi rushed towards him, appearing out of the pitch black darkness that surrounding both of them. Something wasn't right though, as he got closer, patches of dark, crimson red began to appear on Levi's clothes and face until he was dripping the red liquid. It was blood. Levi rushed and shoved Eren out of his spot. Eren didn't know what Levi was shoving him away from until he tumbled to the side as Levi replaced the empty spot Eren once stood in. Eren watched as Levi fell backwards into a titan's mouth with his blood-stained Scouting Legion cloak flowing around him. 

"Levi!" Eren yelled at the very top of his sore lungs. Eren watched in horror as Levi fell into the large mouth of the titan and as the titan's jaw snapped shut, trapping Levi inside. "LEVI!" Eren screamed louder, his throat now extremely sore. His voice went silent again. He couldn't move, think, or feel anything again. All except pain and sorrow. Two, terrible feelings hung on Eren like lead chains, bringing him down into a pool of blood and tears. He looked down at his shaking hands, blood soaked both of his hands. Eren desperately tried to scream again but nothing came out. He grabbed his hair and pulled it in anger, denial, depression, and frustration. He cried extremely hard, to the point where he received a massive headache. His voice was gone, and so was Levi. 

Eren lifted up his head and saw the horrifying titan move closer. It's eyes staring at him, piercing through his soul and amplifying his fear. It's devilish grin and terrifying eyes haunted Eren to the point where he wanted to give up. 

A small light appeared from the darkness. A small silhouette grew larger and became more clear. It was Levi's blood covered, lifeless body. Eren blinked once, then Levi's motionless body was in his arms. Eren tried desperately to yell for help at the top of his lungs but once again, no sound escaped his pained mouth. All Eren could do was hold Levi's body tight and cry. Before Eren could even blink, Levi dissolved in his arms. The painful tears that streamed down his face poured down harder and faster. 

A sudden, horrifying scene flashed in front of Eren's sorrow-filled eyes. A wooden coffin with red roses scattered everywhere. Levi's lifeless body laying inside. His eyes closed, his chest not moving, and in his gentle hand, was a single white rose. The coffin soon faded back into the darkness and returned back into Eren's previous nightmare. 

The titan's large fingers stretched out and came closer to Eren teasing him horribly. Just before the titan was able to grab Eren's fear-filled body, he was able to let out one last scream,

"NOO!" Eren gasped for air with his eyes wide. He jolted upward in terror. His breathing uneven and his hands trembling. His eyes adjusted to his surroundings. He was in his bed, the golden beams of sunlight shot though the window and his door closed. Eren could feel something drip down from the side of his face. He reached up slowly and touched the unknown liquid that streamed down his cheeks. They were tears. His eyes stung like in his nightmare and his body and mind shaken from what he had just endured. His forehead was peppered with small beads of sweat. 

Eren jumped when he heard the sound of a gentle knock at his door. The door handle turned and the wooden door slowly moved open. 

"Eren! Are you okay?!" Mikasa jumped from behind the door and rushed towards him, embracing him in a warm hug. 

"I'm fine Mikasa. I just had a nightmare." Mikasa slowly pulled away from her embrace as she stared into his turquoise eyes. Eren only held the glance for a second or two before turning away and looking at the floor. He rubbed his eyes, making an attempt to calm down and fully wake up into reality.

"Eren, are you sure you're-"

"Mikasa I'm fine!" Eren interrupted with a harshly agitated tone. He brought his hands up to his face and rubbed his temples. "I don't need a babysitter Mikasa. That's all I'm saying. I know you're my sister but really, you can go overboard sometimes. I'm not a hot-head kid anymore. I can't take care of my self." Eren rose from his bed to stand up as he placed his hands back to his side. He walked over and looked out the window to see the usual, dull grey clouds that blocked the sun. The grass swayed back and forth to the wind as usual, as well as the leaves on the trees. Everything was peaceful except for Jean and Connie arguing outside on who's shift it was to clean the horse stables. Eren shook his head and rolled his eyes then looked over at Mikasa. 

"Here I'm just going to get dressed and I'll meet you outside." Eren ran his left hand through his messy brown hair. Mikasa looked down and nodded silently as she stood up as well. Eren watched as she slowly exited his bedroom. He rubbed his face with his hand and let out and quiet groan. 

As he walked over to his wooden dresser, Eren looked down and realized he was already wearing his green shirt with his white pants and his 3D maneuver gear body straps. He stared at his clothes in confusion, trying to remember what happened last night. The only thing that came to his mind was laying down on the grass outside with Levi. Wait, what? Levi? Eren stepped back and flopped onto his bed completely puzzled. "Maybe Levi brought me in?" Eren thought to himself. "Or was that a part of my dream?" Eren shrugged and grabbed his boots along with his Scout Regiment cloak and walked out of his room. 

He silently headed towards the eating area to grab something for breakfast. When he entered the room, he saw Armin sitting alone, Ymir and Krista sitting together at another table, and Levi and Hanji at the table beside where Armin sat. Hanji was reading off of a stack of paper she had in front of her and Levi looked like he was ready to kill himself. Eren immediately walked over to Armin and sat down. 

"Hey," Eren greeted as he placed his arms on the table. 

"Hey," Armin replied as he took another bite out of his apple. "I was wondering when you were going to get up. If you didn't Levi would have kicked you out of bed... Literally." Both Eren and Armin turned their attention to Levi. He held his head with his pointed and middle finger with his thumb and looked like he was about to pass out. Hanji's little 'lessons' were always extremely monotonous. 

"Hanji, I know. You've told me already." Levi snapped. 

"I know! But it's just so fascinating! Don't you think?!" Levi grabbed the bridge of his nose with his pointer finger and thumb, and shook his head. Eren tried to muffle his chuckle with his hand as well as Armin. 

"Anyway Eren," Armin continued. "Were you the one who screamed earlier?"

"What?! You heard that?!" Eren panicked as his eyes shot open. Armin nodded in reply. 

"Everyone did. So... It was you?"

"Yes... Although I didn't know everyone heard me!" Eren smacked his hand against his face in utter humiliation. 

"Why did you scream?" 

"I had a nightmare... And I guess I woke up screaming."

"What was your nightmare about?" Eren looked back up at Armin. 

"Err... Um..." Eren turned his head and glanced at Levi who took another sip of his tea. Flashbacks of his horrifying nightmare flashed before his eyes. He swiftly turned back to the table before he thought about more. "I can't remember..." It was completely clear to Armin that Eren was lying. It was written all over his face, but Armin decided not to question Eren anymore. It must have been pretty bad if Eren didn't even want to share it with him. 

Armin handed over an apple, some hot cereal and some water to Eren. "I saved that for you, I know how much you like apples." Armin chuckled. Eren did the same as he snatched the food from Armin with a charming smile. 

As Eren ate, the only thing that constantly ran through his mind was his nightmare. He couldn't help but continuously look over at Levi, making sure he was, indeed, alive. He told himself repeatedly, "It was just a dream... It wasn't real... It won't happen... It will never happen... Everything's okay... It's all okay." 

Armin looked up at Eren and couple of times and caught him staring at Levi. Beads of sweat peppered his forehead as his face looked troublesome. Armin opened his mouth as to say something but quickly shut it. 

Eren didn't hesitate to practically inhale his apple and chug his water. He was surprisingly hungry. 

After he finished, Eren and Armin both made their way outside to meet up with Mikasa. Mikasa leaned on a large pine tree with her regular uniform on, including her green cloak. Her jet black hair perfectly swayed with the direction of the wind. Shining with every movement. Her silver eyes sparkled in the sunlight which, of course, made Jean admire her from afar. Jean leaned on the broom that was used to help clean the horse stables and stared at Mikasa. Admiring every inch of her until Connie yelled, which scared the crap out of Jean. 

"Jean! Focus!" Connie snapped. Jean jumped and fell over with his broom and ending up with a face-full of dirt. 

"Shut up! You're not my mother!" Jean shot back as he rose from the ground, wiping the dirt off of his clothes. Mikasa rolled her eyes in the background. 

"Mikasa!" Eren called as him and Armin both sprinted towards the same tree Mikasa leaned on. "What are you looking at?" Mikasa pointed over to where, once again, Jean and Connie argued. Armin nudged Eren and laughed,

"Reminds me of when you and Jean argued almost everyday back when we were cadets." 

"Can't blame me, he started it." Eren chuckled as he pointed at Jean. 

"I heard you Jaeger!" Jean called out with a harsh tone. Eren just laughed harder, taunting Jean with every move he made. 

"Jean! Get back to work! Jeez don't you have a brain, horse-face?" Jean stopped glaring at Eren and turned back to Connie. 

"What did you just call me?" Jean growled with a menacing tone. "You little..." Jean went on and on yelling at Connie as Connie did the same back. Eren rolled his eyes thinking about how hot-headed Jean is. 

"Anyway, we should probably get going," Mikasa spoke as she turned to Eren. 

"Where are we going?" Eren stared back at Mikasa with a muddled expression. 

"To the market, we need to grab some things before the new recruits come in."

"New recruits? Already?" 

"Well, if there are going to be any." Armin added in. 

"After the last expedition, we didn't exactly make our reputation any better. We'll be lucky if there's only one," Mikasa's words died on her lips as she saw Levi walk around the corner. 

"Oi!" Levi shouted as he got closer. "How long does it take you brats to get ready?" Mikasa clenched her fist tightly in agitation. "Get your asses over here," Levi turned around and walked back in the direction of the horse stables. 

"I'm going to kill that midget," Mikasa gritted her teeth harshly as her terrifying eyes glared at Levi's back. Eren quickly grabbed Mikasa's shoulder to pull her back. 

"Mikasa, why do you hate Levi so much? He's our-"

"Do you not remember how he beat you in the courthouse?" Mikasa viciously snapped back. "That twerp has no heart or mind." 

"Mikasa calm down! I don't need you as my bodyguard!" Eren stared angrily at Mikasa, trying to remind her of their previous conversation that morning. Mikasa's harsh look softened so did her fist. She then looked down at the grass, partially hiding in her red scarf. 

This time, Eren didn't apologize, instead, he just began to walk off in the direction Levi was heading. Mikasa looked up from the cold ground in shock. Armin also watched in surprise as well. A frown appeared on Mikasa's mouth as her face darkened. 

LLLLL

The sound of the horse's feet clopping on the dirt was the only noise among the four. Eren, Mikasa, Armin, and Levi. The awkward silence was painfully uncomfortable. 

Eren stared straight ahead and thought to himself quietly. He didn't regret what he had said to Mikasa. He just about had enough of Mikasa acting like his bodyguard. Although, Mikasa was acting as though a knife was just stabbed through her heart. She was so easily put down by any negative words that have ever exited Eren's mouth. 

Once all four began to approach the town, Armin inched closer to Eren. The chatter of the town's people replaced the soundlessness that haunted the group. Although, it wasn't exactly a warm welcome into town. Whispers and murmurs flooded the surrounding area. 

"Are they from the Survey Corps?" One woman whispered into another woman's ear. 

"Look! It's Levi Heichou!" A small kid silently screamed to his dad, who for some reason, had a dark and ominous expression on his face. The dad's glare met Levi's piercing eyes but Levi quickly turned away from what he thought was trouble. 

"I can't believe they're going on another expedition," The child's dad whispered to his wife. This statement made Levi bring his horse to a halt. Mikasa, Eren and Armin also paused behind Levi looking at him in confusion. Levi's eyes widened and stared straight ahead before they shot back at the man. The unknown male quickly turned around as his eyes met Levi's. Eren watched curiously.

"Why did he stop?" Eren whispered into Armin's ear as quietly as he could. Armin shrugged slightly in reply. Levi froze for a moment as if he was thinking to himself. He let out a small 'tch' and rode forward on his horse again. All three behind him did the same. 

After each of them had tied their horses to a nearby stand, they headed towards the market while also receiving multiple whispers and stares as they walked on. 

"Alright, let's get this done as fast as we can. I don't want any dilly-dalling. Got it?" Levi spoke with a cold, demanding tone. Mikasa clenched her fist once more and took off on her own. Levi's eyes followed her until she was out of sight, then left on his own as well. 

"I guess that just leaves you and me," Eren shrugged as he turned around and started heading another direction. Armin quickly followed and prodded Eren's arm. 

"Don't you think you were a little harsh on Mikasa?" Armin tried to get a good look of Eren's reaction to his question. Eren let out a deep sigh and rubbed his head. 

"Well I had to be," Eren answered while he ran his fingers through his hair. "She still doesn't understand that I can survive on my own, and that I she doesn't need to keep tabs on me all the time." 

"Well you do get into sticky situations quite often so I can see why she's so worried all of the time." Eren bit his tongue and didn't say anything else. 

~

After Armin and Eren had collected all of the items they needed to grab, they started to search for Mikasa and Levi. It was a tricky task trying to look around through the hundred of faces while also being careful about their items (which were mostly food). The market suddenly became extremely busy, to the point where you couldn't even move two feet to the side. Not to mention the fact that people didn't care if they bumped into you and almost made you loose your things. 

"Jeez, can these people learn some manners?" Eren growled as he moved out of the way of a group of men. 

"We just need to find Levi and Mikasa, then we can head back," 

"Here, I'll look down this way and you look down that one," Eren gestured to his left then to his right. "Then we'll meet back here." Armin gave a small nod and headed in the direction Eren indicated him to. Eren watched Armin vanish into the chaos before he turned to his left. 

Things were a little quieter on the left side of the market. There must be a food shortage going on again because most of the people were swarming the food section. Although Eren kept his eyes peeled. 

"Is this all you have?" A familiar voice stood out from all the others. Eren immediately turned around to try and find the source of the sound. He turned around to see levi standing by a small merchant's booth. The merchant replied, "Yeah sorry about that. Since it's winter, we can't really get as many of these as we would in the summer or spring. But I'll let you know when I get more." "Alright, thank you." Levi handed over some money and took something from the man's booth. 

Eren leaned in to see what Levi had picked up. Levi lifted up his head and looked both ways and seemed like he was seeing if anyone was watching. After he checked both ways, he turned around and revealed what was in his hand. Levi's slender fingers gently held three white roses that swayed slowly in the wind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooh... What could those roses be for? Why did Levi pause when the guy mentioned another expedition?Why was Eren's heart beating faster? Hmmm you'll have to find out soon... Comment what you thought of the chapter! And please spread the word about this fanfic! It helps a lot :)


	4. Each Rose Has Its Thorns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feels... Feels all the way...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SPOILER WARNING!!! IF YOU HAVE NOT READ Attack on Titan: No Regrets THERE ARE MAJOR SPOILERS IN THIS CHAPTER!! Read at your own risk! And I'm SUPER sorry this took so long! I PROMISE chapter 5 will NOT take this long! Please forgive me :( Also, this chapter contains feels... A lot of feels... You've been warned

Eren stared at the white pedals that flowed gracefully with the air current. Confusion struck Eren like a slap in the face. So many questions rang throughout Eren's head but he restrained himself from saying a word. Instead, he waited for a moment and watched as Levi slid the flowers delicately into one of the bags he was holding, before walking up to him. 

"There you are Levi," Eren spoke with a slightly shaky voice. "We're all finished getting..." Eren slowed down as he took another look at Levi's cold, annoyed expression. "I-I mean, are you done or do you still need-"

"I'm done brat," Levi interrupted abruptly. "Where are the others?" 

"Oh, Armin went to go find Mikasa. They should probably be where our horses are. That would be the most likely spot."

"Alright," Levi let out a small sigh. "Let's go too. There's something I need to do when we get back..." Levi clenched his teeth and let out a small 'tch' before he walked off. Eren bit his lip as he slowly walked behind Levi. 

~

Eren continued to bite his lip in order to keep his mouth shut. He eventually bit it so much that he drew blood. Specks of blood peppered the center of his lip and slowly began to drip down. 

"Eren!" Armin called out. "We're over here!" Eren looked over to his right and saw Armin frantically waving his hand back and forth. Mikasa was beside Armin but was staring down at the ground. Eren bit his lip a little tighter with agitation as he walked over. 

"There you guys are," Eren spoke as he approached Armin and Mikasa. 

"Eren," Armin had a worried tone to his voice. "What happened to your lip?" 

"Huh?" Eren lifted his hand up to his mouth and saw the blood that dripped out from his tender lip. "Oh! Um... Dry lips I guess. I mean, it is winter after all." He chuckled. 

"Oi," Levi walked over with his horse's reins in his hand. "Are you brats just going to stand there all day long? We need to head back." Levi's voice was so bitterly cold, but yet again, that must be normal. Levi hopped up and climbed onto his black horse. 

"Yes sir..." Eren answered as he too grabbed his horse and climbed onto the saddle. Armin and Mikasa repeated the same action as well. 

The ride out of the village was probably worse than the ride in. There were more whispers and murmurs on the sides of the pathway, and more people stared with strange grimaces on their faces. You'd think that the people would be able to show a little more respect. Even though that part was dreadful, just to add on to that feeling, small droplets of sleet started to descend from the thick clouds. They descended from clouds that seemed to appear out of nowhere. Along with the frigid gusts of wind that sliced through the air that made everyone shiver. 

Just as everyone was about ten minutes away from the Survey Corps Headquarters, it began to sleet violently and a thick wall of fog appeared out of nowhere. The sleet turned into even harder ice crystals that hit everyone's face harshly. The fog became super thick to the point where it was whiteout conditions. The temperature plunged drastically as well. It felt as though it was minus ten for Pete's sake. 

Eren pulled his hood up and held his arm up by his head to try and help prevent the painful sleet from hitting his face. He looked up to see Levi doing the same with his cloak waving violently with the aggressive wind. Eren looked both ways and saw that Armin was shivering really badly and Mikasa was tugging her cloak over her chest tightly. Even the path that lead to the Survey Corps Headquarters was barely visible now. 

Eren glanced down at his painfully cold hands which were as pale as the fog itself. It was excruciatingly painful to even move his hand now they felt so stiff and dry. 

"Dammit," Levi growled. "Can't even see the damn path now." Levi turned around to see everyone. "You guys alright?" 

"Not really," Armin replied. Even his voice was shivering. 

"Let's head back as fast as we possibly can," There was a strange tone of concern to Levi's voice as he whipped the reins to make his horse go faster. 

Ignoring the new tone to Levi's voice, Eren and the others repeated Levi's action and made their steed gallop faster. 

The rest of the ride as absolutely dreadful. The bitter cold harshly bared its fangs and attacked without hesitation. Making everyone's body go stiff and amplifying the pain of their exposed and vulnerable skin. Frostbite was not the slightest bit hesitant to take over. Luckily enough, the Survey Corps Headquarters was only about a hundred feet away but still wasn't visible. The fog would not let up. 

Eventually the headquarters came into eyesight and all four of the soaking wet, freezing soldiers dashed towards the large building on their horses. As soon as they reached the stables, everyone jumped off their horses in a rush. 

"I got the horses," Levi announced. "You guys get inside," Levi took the reins of two horses and rushed them over to the stables. Eren, Armin, and Mikasa nodded, grabbed their items and rushed inside. Each and everyone one of them shivered as they entered through the front gate. 

"They're back!" Hanji exclaimed as she and Erwin rushed over. "Jeez, you poor kids must be freezing!" It wasn't hard for Hanji to find her answer when she heard the chattering of their teeth. Eren looked up and saw Mike and Jean rushed over to grab some things. 

"Where's Levi?" Erwin questioned. 

"Oh he's-"

"I'm right here," Levi interrupted Eren's sentence by opening the door and shutting it quickly. Eren watched as Levi gave Erwin a quick scowl that meant business but soon looked back to his cloak and wiped off some small white specks. "Great news, it's starting to snow too." 

"Man, this came out of nowhere didn't it?" Mike stated. Everyone nodded in response. 

"But first," Hanji stated. "Let's get you guys warm." 

LLLLL

By the time everyone got settled, it was already close to dinner. As always, everyone gathered in the dining area, along with Eren, Mikasa, Armin and Levi who all had their blankets draping off their shoulders. 

Eren pulled the warm blanket over himself tightly, trying to embrace the heat. Although, the blankets weren't exactly thick and luxurious. They were only thin, and soft and weren't really enough to warm Eren up quickly. Shivers still swirled up Eren's spine. Especially one that made him jolt and shake. 

Levi looked up and saw how Eren shivered. 

"Oi," Eren looked up and saw Levi standing above him with his own blanket in his hands. "Here," Levi placed his own blanket on Eren's shivering shoulders. "It'll warm you up quicker." 

Eren was surprised by this. "No it's okay Heichou! You'll get cold too!" Eren tried to move out of the way of the blanket but it was already resting on his shoulders. The warmth of Levi's blanket quickly transferred from the fabric to Eren. 

"Don't worry about me, I have my tea." Levi walked back over to his table. Eren watched how he glided back and sat down. Eren muttered a quiet 'thank you' to levi. Even though Levi can seem really emotionless and bitter, he really has a heart. Eren smiled and looked back to his meal. Although, as he did, he glanced at Mikasa who seemed agitated and suspicious at the same time. She too then turned back to her meal. 

"I actually can't wait to see how many new recruits come to the Survey Corps," Armin spoke. "Probably not a lot..." Armin fell silent as he thought to himself. "I guess we didn't exactly improve our reputation considering the reaction of the townspeople today."

"Well you would think that they would show a little more respect than that..." Eren moved his fork around his plate in frustration. Armin sighed and said,

"You got that right..." Armin slowed down as he saw Levi pull Erwin out of the room and Hanji stick her hand out to try and stop them. She then ran after the two men. Eren looked over his shoulder to see what Armin was looking at. Both of the boys showed off a confused facial expression. Without even thinking, Eren got up from the table and went to go follow the three. 

"Eren wait!" Armin exclaimed as he got up too and ran after Eren. 

"You have to be kidding me Erwin," Eren heard Levi speak behind a wooden door. "Tell me you did not confirm the expedition!" Eren was shocked to hear the tone in Levi's voice. Eren managed to look through the small crack of the door and see what was going on. Erwin sighed and answered,

"It was confirmed a two weeks ago," The room fell silent. Eren's jaw dropped open and so did Levi's. 

"You have to be kidding me." Levi growled. "I know I'm not in charge of operations planning but you could've at least let me know. I mean come on. The townspeople already know about the expedition and half of the actual Survey Corps don't even have a clue." Levi's voice was so harsh and cold. "And why lie to me when I asked about it?" Hanji and Erwin looked at each other. 

"Because we knew you would try to stop it." Erwin replied. 

"Eren!" Armin whispered/screamed as he ran towards him. "What are you doing? Let's go!" Armin shook Eren and tried to pull him away but that didn't work. 

"Wait," Eren whispered with his eyes still focused on the door. Armin looked through as well. 

"Why are you so bothered by this?" Erwin questioned with a dark tone. 

"Why?" Levi hissed back. "You know exactly why Erwin. You knew that we just suffered an unbelievably high casualty rate from out last expedition, and you know that we have the risk of running into bad weather..." Levi slowed down and his expression darkened. "Do you really want a repeat of 844?" Erwin's eyes widened when he heard that statement. 

Eren and Armin turned to each other in confusion. 

"844?" Eren whispered. 

"Come on Eren," Armin tugged at Eren's shirt. "Let's go." Eren nodded and quietly tip-toed back to the dining area with Armin. 

LLLLL

Eren flopped down onto his soft, springy bed. Levi's words echoed in his head as everything went silent. 

"Tell me you did not confirm the expedition!"

"Why lie to me?"

"Do you really want a repeat of 844?"

That last statement rang throughout Eren's head and echoed for the longest time. 

"What happened in 844?" Eren asked himself. "Something bad I guess..." He slowed down his sentence as he saw a small piece of a shadow pass by his window. He shot up and ran to see what it was. All he saw a was a black figure walking towards the forest behind the headquarters. It was so dark outside, and it was still raining a bit. 

"Why would someone be outside now?" He whispered to himself quietly. Eren quickly turned around and grabbed his jacket and cloak and ran outside. 

Eren shivered as he stepped out into the icy air that nipped at his nose and cheeks. The bitter air engulfed him entirely and quickly replaced his sense of warmth. The small ice shards mixed with the rain danced all over his face. As he looked down he saw the fresh footprints from someone still scattered on the ground. Eren retraced the footprints with his own feet and followed them into the forest. 

Although, it was difficult to find the footprints in the dark. Fortunately, Eren was able to have the unknown person in his sight. The strange thing was, whoever it was, continued to walk for a while down a fixed path. By this time, Eren was unbelievably cold. His cloak was soaked from the icy rain, and his hands were frozen right down to the bone, but he continued to follow the unknown person. 

After a while, the unknown man or woman turned abruptly to the left and Eren's jaw shot opened at what he saw. Whoever it was walked all this way in order to get to a small pond that glistened in the moonlight. The pond was right beside a large cliff that had a small but swift river running down in a graceful zig-zag motion. The large pine trees stood about twenty meters behind the pond giving it some space. Even the icy restrained itself from The unknown individual reached into their black cloak and pulled out something that made Eren's eyes widen. Three white roses dangled from the person's skinny hand. Eren immediately darted behind a tree and prayed that the person would not turn around. 

"Is this all you have..?" A familiar voice rang through Eren's head. 

"Yeah sorry about that. Since it's winter, we can't really get as many of these..." Another very familiar and fresh voice traveled through Eren's mind. 

Suddenly, the mysterious individual reached for their hood and pulled it back, revealing their short black hair. That's when Eren realized who it was... It was Levi. 

"Why would Levi be out here..?" Then something caught Eren's eye. Three, small wooden crosses were all lined up beside each other just on the edge of the pond. Eren looked closer and he noticed that two of the three crosses were labeled, "Farlan Church" and "Isabel Magnolia". Underneath both names the number 844 was written. Eren wondered to himself and remembered what Levi had said earlier,

"Do you really want a repeat of 844?"

"...844..." Eren whispered to himself quietly. Then Eren's eyes shot over to the third cross. This one was labeled with a name that almost brought Eren to tears. "Petra Ral" was freshly written on the third cross. 

Levi took all three roses and placed them gently in front of each cross and sat in silence before whispering,  
"Happy Birthday," when he placed down the rose in front of Petra's cross. Eren had forgotten, that, that day was December 6th... Petra's birthday. Eren covered his mouth and tried to keep his tears at bay. His watery eyes watched as Levi ran his fingers through his hair and exhaled with grief. Levi quietly whispered to himself, "I'm sorry."

Everything fell silent. Levi placed his head into his hands and shook his head in a depressed way. Eren felt his tears breaking through and preparing themselves to race down his cold face. Eren slowly stepped back, trying not to make any noise, and quickly ran back to the headquarters. 

His heart ached in the worst way possible after seeing what he had just saw. Eren quietly snuck back into his room and sat down on his bed. He pulled his bedsheets up over his shoulders and placed his head on his fluffy pillow. He stared up at the dark ceiling and tried to go to sleep. Hoping that this was all a dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, yeah I know, this chapter didn't make any sense did it? Yeah it kinda sucked. But anyway, for those of you who don't ship Levi x Petra, THIS WAS FOR THE FEELS ONLY! And don't get mad at me if you saw the spoilers for AoT: No regrets. I warned you lol. Anyway, chapter 5 will be out soon!! Promise!!


	5. Heartache

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feels...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING! This chapter contains material that may offend or trigger certain people. Please read at your own risk. This chapter does contain descriptive material of self-harm. Please do not read if you are easily offended and/or triggered. Otherwise, please enjoy the chapter :)

The air had cooled down to a bone-chilling temperature. The freezing wind made its way into Eren's room. As Eren's ears woke up, he heard some commotion going on outside. He rose out of his bed and opened the door. Eren remembered that the new set of recruits were coming today. Eren groaned in response then shut his door. 

Eren ran his fingers through his hair then rubbed his eyes. Although, something caught his eye. The light shining in his window was brighter than usual. Eren quickly looked up and saw that the ground was partially covered with white. Small little pieces of green poked through here and there through the thick white that rested in the ground. A feeling if joy and fear surged through his spine. The joy was from finally seeing the plush snow lay on the ground but the fear was what type of weather conditions they would face on their next expedition. Eren exhaled then staggered over to his bed and slipped his cold-as-ice clothes on. 

"Hey Eren," Armin greeted as he pasted by Eren's door, "new recruits should be coming soon." 

"Yeah," Eren sighed, "I know."

"Well," Armin glanced down at the ground, "that is, if we get any." Armin continued walking while his footsteps echoed in the silent hallway. Eren gave an expression of disappointment then walked out of his room. 

As Eren sauntered through the hallways to the eating area, it was surprisingly quiet. No one really had anything to say to one another except for how many new recruits they thought they would get. As Eren scanned through the crowd, he spotted Levi, half-sleep with coffee steaming beside his arm. It was odd to see Levi with his eyes half-shut. Dark circles surrounded his eyes. Eren abruptly remembered what he had witnessed last night. Memories, both bitter and painful flooded his heart. He tried to shake off the painful feeling and continued walking to grab breakfast. 

Eren flopped down onto a seat and gazed at his apple, hot cereal and water. He then turned his attention over to Levi. Levi silently took another sip of his coffee and closed his eyes. He placed his white cup lightly back onto the wooden table then continued to keep his eyes closed. Eren quickly glanced down at Levi's arm. A small patch of red stained his sleeve just by his wrist. Eren opened his mouth to say something but hurriedly shut it. He sighed to himself once again then returned to his meal. 

~

"The new recruits are here!" Eren's ears perked up as he heard someone call from afar. Eren jumped up and dashed to see the new recruits and how many were coming. Many others did the same. As soon as Eren got outside, his jaw dropped to the ground. 

"Oh my gosh..." Someone nearby exhaled. There were so many. So many young cadets flooded the headquarters, both tall and small. 

"How many are there?" Eren asked himself, hoping someone around would answer.

"Exactly ninety-eight," Armin raced up beside Eren, "all from one trainees squad. It's unbelievable!" Armin eyes were beaming with excitement. 

"The Survey Corps hasn't gotten this many recruits in ages," Hanji spoke from behind the two. "It's really something."

"I guess we made a reputation for ourselves after our last expedition along with capturing the Female Titan." Armin shrugged and gazed at Eren. "Plus, they might be pretty interested in you." 

"Yeah right," Eren snickered. Armin laughed in response. 

"Great," Levi's voice broke through everyone else's, "more dogs to train." Levi's eyes narrowed as the new recruits walked past. Each looking over at Levi in awe. Although, Levi's ice cold expression turned into a shocked look as two certain recruits walked past him. One had short blond hair, a smooth jawline, and blue eyes. He was averagely tall with a normal shade of skin. The other, had short red hair, tied in two little pigtails that stuck out only a little bit below and behind her ears. Her childish looking green eyes sparkled like emeralds in the sunlight. She was a little bit shorter than Levi. Levi's jaw dropped open slightly as his eyes followed the two. His eyes soon fell back to the ground. A painful look appeared across his face before Levi took off. Eren watched in wonder and curiosity. 

"What's wrong with Levi?" He asked quietly. He turned around only to find Hanji with the same shocked expression that was once upon Levi's face. "Are you alright Hanji?" 

"Yeah," She replied in a quiet tone, "I'm fine." Her head turned to the side as she looked at the direction that Levi took off in. 

"Do you know what's wrong with Levi?" Eren asked again. Armin looked oddly at Eren with confusion surging through his mind. Hanji looked down into Eren's eyes and sighed. 

"I think those two recruits," Hanji pointed at the tall guy and short girl that Levi had stared at, "reminded Levi of someone he used to know." 

"Used to know?" Eren repeated. Hanji nodded. 

"When Levi joined the Survey Corps, he joined with two of his comrades. One was named Farlan. He was as smart as a whip, quick thinking, skilled, and charming. He always looked out for others and always had a good sense of the situation. The other one was named Isabel. She was loud, outgoing, fun, and playful. She looked up to Levi and thought of him more like a brother than a friend. She was always having fun and she always had a smile on her face..." Hanji slowed down and looked at the ground. "Both were unbelievably skilled like Levi. The first titan they faced was an Abnormal. They quickly brought it down with ease. Although, the next day, we faced some pretty bad weather including rain, and fog. Visibility was low and titans began to swarm us. Sadly...they didn't make it out alive. Levi was the only one left standing out of the three. I didn't hear how they died because Levi refused to speak of it to anyone. He removed himself from the others and went off alone for a while. Eventually Levi came out of the shadows and started to talk with some of us. He may seem like a cold, bitter person that is unapproachable, but, once you get to know him, he cares about his comrades a lot." All of this was shocking to Eren and it wasn't hard to tell that it was shocking to Armin as well by the look on his face. "I guess those two recruits reminded him of Farlan and Isabel. They do look very much alike." Hanji took a small break from talking to watch a few more new members walk by. "The one thing I found quite cute though was that Farlan used to joke around and call Isabel a brat. After they died, Levi started to use the term 'brat' a lot more. I guess it's his own little act of remembrance." 

"Wow..." Armin finally spoke, "I never really thought of Levi that way..." Eren still remained silent. Heartache flooded his body and emotions. He remembered when he had followed Levi into the forest last night, two graves were marked with the names Farlan and Isabel. Levi must have made those graves himself. Eren could feel his eyes burn with fresh tears that stung and blurred his vision. He fought to keep them at bay. 

"Anyway, I think it would be best if you guys kept this to yourselves." Hanji stated. "I don't think it would be a good idea to spread this around."

"Of course we won't," Eren finally spoke up, "I can keep a secret." Hanji smiled slightly in return. 

"Alright well," she began, "let's head back inside while the squad leader take care of these new recruits." Eren and Armin nodded then walked back inside the headquarters. 

~

Eren silently walked into the dining area and saw most of the new recruits gathered around tables and chatting amongst themselves joyfully. Eren smiled then grabbed a seat with Krista, Mikasa, Armin, Sasha, Jean, and Connie. 

"Man, I didn't expect so many newbies," Jean sighed to himself. 

"I know," Krista spoke excitedly, "it's amazing! Who knew we could get this many!" 

"Hopefully they're prepared for the next expedition," Mikasa stated out loud. The whole table went dead silent. 

"Hopefully..." Armin whispered. Things instantly got outrageously awkward. 

"Hey," Eren perked up, "they're just like how we were. I'm sure they're prepared." A small smile appeared out if the corners of Eren's lips. 

"Yeah," Jean suddenly smiled and laughed. The mood was strange. It was almost uncomfortable and confusing. No one really had a steady mind, and everything was a little bit chaotic. 

Soon, Eren saw Levi enter the dining area. The words that Hanji had spoken earlier rang through his head,

"He may seem like a cold, bitter person that is unapproachable, but, once you get to know him, he cares about his comrades a lot." Eren exhaled and turned back to his food. 

As Levi passed by a table full of new members, he caught a snide remark that one of them had made as he past by, "Wow, look at how short he is." Levi came to a stop and turned towards the table. "He's like a new trainee." 

"What did you just say?" Levi's tone was dark and heavy. One guy stood up from the table and the whole dining area went completely silent. 

"I was just sayin' that your a little short that's all." Whispers surged throughout the area and Eren noticed Erwin, Hanji, and Mike stand up. Levi's eyes darkened. 

"Hey don't look at me like that." the cadet tried to bargain. His friend nudged him to stop. Whoever this guy was, he was about a foot taller than Levi with fiery red hair and Carmel colored eyes. 

"Do you not have any respect for your superiors?" Levi hissed back. The young cadet laughed and seemed quite amused. 

"You're not superior to me." He snickered back. Levi's eyes narrowed. 

"You better sit back down and shut that disgusting mouth of yours." Levi growled. His eyes becoming more and more intimidating by the second. 

"As if I would take orders from a small fry." The cadet quickly shot back. His friend now violently tugging on his sleeve, urging him to sit back down. The cadet walked closer to Levi, to the point where they were only a foot apart. 

"Sit your filthy ass back down before I make you," Levi's tone as cold as it could ever be. Everyone was silent, shaking in fear as they watched everything unfold. 

"Hah!" The cadet laughed. "You're going to make me? I know you're known as 'Humanity's Strongest Soldier' and all, but I highly doubt you're actually strong." Eren stared as the cadet used his fingers to add "quotations" around 'Humanity's Strongest Soldier'. Fear invaded Eren's trembling body. He wanted to look away desperately but he just couldn't. He couldn't take his eyes off of the action. It was scary and unbelievable. 

"You couldn't even protect your own squad!" The cadet shouted. Multiple gasps were heard around the room. "Now that's just pathetic! Goes to show that you don't care about anyone else but yourself!" 

"Hey!" Erwin shouted. "That's enough! Sit back down this instant-" Erwin stopped as Levi lifted up his hand. The went silent. Not a single noise was heard. 

"Whatcha gonna do, huh?" The newbie teased. "Gonna tell me to sit in time out?" He raised up his fist and threatened to hit Levi. "Huh? Tell me pipsqueak, what. Are. You. Going. To. Do-" Levi interrupted the cadet's sentence by grabbing his arm and twisting in to the right viciously. The cadet yelped in pain then pulled back his fist and took a swing at Levi. Levi grabbed his fist just before it made contact with his face. He squeezed his fist until a loud crack came from the cadet's hand. Once again, he newbie yelled in pain. Levi flipped him over and threw him onto the ground and stomped his foot on his chest. 

"Levi!" Hanji screamed. "Stop!" Levi looked up and glared at Hanji. He quickly let the cadet go but the newbie swiftly got to his knees and tried to punch Levi again. Levi kicked his hand then his face. Soon a bloody tooth sprung out of the cadets mouth, but he still didn't give up. He tried to attack again but Levi grabbed him by his hair violently and kneed him straight in the face. Then stomped his head to the ground. The cadet stopped struggling and laid still on the floor, bleeding by his mouth, nose and head. Levi looked up and scanned the room. 

"Would anyone else like to say anything?" He hissed. No one said anything. Levi took his foot off of the cadet's head and grabbed him by the hair again and held him up. 

"Would you like to say anything else or try to hit me one more time?" The cadet shook his head no painfully. Levi dropped him on the ground then walked out. A few of the cadet's friends rushed to his side and helped him up. A few murmurs were heard a couple of times. One said,

"Whoa, Levi Heichou is amazing!"

Another said, "Wow, he's so skilled! No wonder he's called Humanity's Strongest!" 

Another said, "What the hell was that guy thinking? Obviously he's going to be a troublemaker." 

His friend replied, "I know. Honestly, taking on Humanity's Strongest like that, he probably has a death wish."

Eren cringed as he looked at the new recruit. He thought about his similar beating when he was in the courtroom. He could feel the pain the poor recruit was feeling. 

"Wow," Jean sighed, "obviously that guy learned his lesson." 

"What was he thinking?" Armin asked out loud. 

"I don't think mentioning his squad was really needed..." Krista stated with a quiet tone. "He probably really misses them..." 

"Yeah..." Eren sighed. 

LLLLL

Eren walked around alone in the empty hallways off the headquarters. All of the others had gone to bed but Eren was still wide-eyed and bushy-tailed. He thought that maybe a walk could help tire him a bit. 

His mind was scrambled. So many things happened lately that just made his head an heart ache. It was all too much. This life was too much. It was hard not to feel stressed in this life. Eren paused and looked out the window in the hallway. The bright moon shined down on the bright thin layer of snow on the ground. The stars sparkled boldly in the sky. Eren sighed once more to himself and then roamed around some more. After a while, he started to feel a bit drowsy. So he quietly went back to the basement. 

Eren realized that he actually hadn't been through the whole headquarters. There were many different rooms and passageways that made this whole place like a maze. He noticed this as he passed a door that stood in the basement hallway. He looked both ways and made sure no one was around. He then silently opened the door which lead into a large corridor.

Multiple doors stood against the walls, all leading to different rooms. Eren continued to walk through the corridor admiring the new places he had discovered. The corridor itself was actually quite long. Although, when Eren was nearing the end of the corridor, he heard a sound coming from the door at the end of the corridor. He hesitated moving forward and urged himself to go back, but curiosity gripped him completely and pushed him forward. 

As he got closer to the door, the sound became clearer. It sounded like beautiful music that was being played on a piano. It wasn't loud, it was soft and gentle. Eren approached the door carefully and pressed his ear against the wood of the door. The music was beautiful. Each note flowed through his ears with grace. 

Eren reached for the doorknob but hesitated before opening it. What if the person in the room didn't want anyone in there? What if it was better to leave? But of course, curiosity got the best of Eren-as it always does. Eren cautiously turned the cold doorknob to the right. Once he heard a small click, he pushed it opened carefully. 

Eren only opened the door wide enough so he could slip through. He left if open just in case he needed to dash back out. 

There was a small walkway leading into the room. Eren only tip-toed to the corner at the end if the walkway and stuck his head slightly out so he could see. The room was unlike any of the other rooms in the headquarters. The walls were still made out of stone bricks, but it was a much bigger room. It had a skylight on the roof the allowed the fresh moonlight illuminate the room at just the right amount. The light of the moon was tinted with a cold shade of blue. 

Eren soon payed attention to where the music was coming from. There was a silky black grand piano that shone with the moonlight. A slender man sat with a straight back in front of the piano. His black hair shone like silk like the piano. 

"Is that a new recruit...?" Eren whispered to himself. The man continued to play his graceful song with his long fingers. But he slowed down as the song seemed to come to an end. He finished the song by slowly escalating up from the low to the high notes and his hand gently floated off of the keyboard. He then looked up at the bright skylight. 

"Levi?" Eren could tell from his silvery gunmetal eyes and sharp jawline. 

"Man," Eren whispered to himself, "this is starting to seem a little repetitive." Almost each and everyday, Eren would find Levi in the oddest of places. It was starting to become repetitive. 

However, something caught Eren's eye. The red mark from earlier still stained Levi's sleeve, and apparently Levi didn't know either. He looked down and spotted the red mark and swore under his breath. Levi sighed as a result then reached into his pocket. Out of nowhere, he pulled out a switchblade and flicked the long and sharp, silvery blade out. He dragged his sleeve up his arm then dared to point the blade to his wrist while his eyes narrowed with regret. Still, he dragged the blade across the skin of his wrist and watched as crimson beads of blood formed from the fresh cuts. 

He didn't wince with pain, but just stared blankly at his self-inflicted cut. Eren watched in horror as his heart pounded against his tight chest. He wanted to scream out and tell Levi to stop, but he didn't have the proper courage to do so. Instead, he kept his mouth shut as his eyes watered with burning tears. He soon saw multiple scars that rested on Levi's arm as Levi pulled up his sleeve more. Levi made several more cuts before flicking his blade back into the case. He placed it gently by the end of the piano then rested his fingers on keys of the piano. 

His song started off slow. Gentle notes flew through the air and into Eren's ears. It sounded magnificent yet painful at the same time. Each note was carefully played at just the right time. The sound gripping Eren with its seductive melody. Although, the song wasn't long. Even though it was only a few moments long, it was the most beautiful sound Eren had heard in a long time. Eren soon realized that he should start to head back. Unfortunately, as Eren was sneaking out, the door made a sudden creak which made Levi turn around briskly. 

"Who's there?" Levi questioned. Eren froze in his tracks. Thank goodness the walkway walls blocked Levi from seeing Eren. Eren swallowed then walked back into sight. 

"Levi?" Eren asked quietly. He tried his best to act as though he had just got there. He scrambled trying to find a good lie that would seem reasonable. 

"What are you doing here?" Levi stared Eren straight in the eye. Eren noticed Levi move his arm out of sight-along with the crimson stains on his skin and sleeve. 

"I couldn't fall asleep so I was walking around, trying to make myself feel tired." Eren bit his lip in fear. "Well, at least a little bit... But I heard a noise as I was heading back to my room. So I came to see what it was..." 

"Oh," Levi sighed. "Well I'm heading to bed myself actually." Levi rose up from the stool that stood by the grand piano. "You should probably head to bed too." 

"Yeah," Eren looked down at the ground. Levi opened the door behind Eren and started to walk down the corridor. 

"I didn't know we had a piano." Eren stated abruptly. Levi didn't respond back and continued walking down the corridor silently. As the two made it to the end of the corridor, Levi opened the door and briskly walked away. 

"What song were you playing?" Eren suddenly asked with a loud voice. Levi stopped and turned his head to the side. 

"The Reluctant Heroes," Levi whispered then continued on his way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for some of the content of this chapter if it offends anyone. I know that self-harm is not something to joke about. This was only used for entertainment purposes only. On the other hand, this is probably the most feels packed chapter I've ever written in my life. I actually started to tear up when I thought of it XD. Anyway, leave a COMMENT or a KUDOS if you liked it! It really helps! Also, go ahead and SHARE this with your friends! I would really to get this fanfic's name out there. Thanks a lot for reading this chapter! ;D


	6. Time (Short Chapter)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahahahaha

Three weeks passed since Eren saw Levi cut. He didn't dare to say a word but kept it in his mind. During the three weeks, the new recruits trained and learned the techniques and formations the Survey Corps use when out on expeditions. Almost all of the new members would be attending the next expedition. As a matter of fact, Eren did not appreciate the fact that the Survey Corps would be going on an expedition before Christmas. Christmas was a time to spend with your family, friends, and loved ones. He knew some wouldn't make it back from this expedition, and he couldn't bare the thought of the families getting the news that their loved one was killed. 

On the day of the expedition, you could see the look of terror on some of the new faces. Although, two faces in particular stood out. The two that had caught Levi's eye that day seemed perfectly calm and ready to face the challenge laid out in front of them. The girl seemed utterly confident and peppy. The guy seemed calm yet annoyed with the girl. 

"We've cleared away the titans in vicinity!" The announcer called. "Thirty seconds until the gate opens!" Eren shifted on his horse. 

"Time to show us the fruits of your training!" A squad leader called back to his recruits. The new recruits threw their fists in the air and yelled with pride. 

"Begin opening the gate!" A voice called out. The large gate slowly rose up off of the ground. Once the gate had almost reached the top, commands from Erwin echoed through everyone's ears.

"Move out!" Erwin yelled. His horse began galloping ahead and full speed as the others followed. "The 58th expedition outside the walls begins now! Forward!" 

The sound of horses' hooves filled the air along with the chilly breeze brushing past everyone's ear. Everyone's eyes were darting everywhere, making sure no titan was nearby. Even though they were told that all of the titans were cleared near the vicinity, you could never really feel safe. The sun was partially covered by thin, grey clouds that seemed to casually float through the air and the snow was already mostly melted. The grass was dominant to the white ice crystals, breaking through its frigid grasp and standing tall. 

The assembly of Survey Corps members approached the abandoned village that stood just outside the Karanes District. Vines conquered the walls of the buildings and crawled up the side of the houses. Shattered windows created an empty and hollow feeling to the village. 

"This was once someone's home..." Eren thought to himself. Painful memories both fond and bitter flooded his heart. The pain that took over his young, grief-stricken body when his home was destroyed, along with precious family memories, and his mother. Eren's cold hands gripped the reins on the horse tighter. 

"Oi Eren," Levi called out, "stay focused." 

"Y-yeah." Eren stuttered, returning from his painful flashback. He watched as Levi pulled ahead of him. 

"Fifteen meter titan approaching from the left!" A man alerted everyone. Everybody's head turned and saw the large titan that made its way slowly towards the group. Eren spotted the intense fear that surged through the young, newly-graduated cadets by the look on their pale faces. 

"Stay focused!" A squad leader called out to the new members. "Keep moving forward! We'll let the support squad handle it!" A majority of the new recruits obeyed and continued moving forward as well as staring ahead, albeit, the rest of the graduated cadets continued to stare in horror at the terrifying 15-meter titan. They watched as the brave support team worked together to stop the titan from getting any closer. Soon, everyone knew something was wrong... The titan wouldn't stop and pay attention to the brave soldiers who stood up to it. The titan continued walking forward but picked up the pace. It's arms swung briskly as well as it's giant legs. Each step sent a vibration through the ground. Multiple screams were heard as new members coward in fear. The support squad rushed and tried to stop it. Luckily, just before the titan reached the group, the support squad brought it down. Eren's heart was practically beating out of his chest. 

No later than thirty seconds, Eren spotted Erwin's arm fly out to the left. 

"Deploy long-range enemy-scouting formation!" Erwin ordered. Soon enough, each of the soldiers moved to their assigned position. Eren was with Levi in the same location of the formation as the last expedition. Mikasa, Armin, and Jean were assigned to protect Eren as well so they were in the same position as Eren and Levi were. 

In a matter of minutes, a red smoke flare was fired from the right flank. Eren soon spotted Erwin's green smoke flare and turned his horse in the direction of the new route. 

Silence soon overtook the troops. Nothing but the steady clopping of the horses hooves. Not only that is t was silent in sound, it was silent in activity. No red smoke flare was fired for a while. It was unusually quiet. Dangerously quiet. 

Suddenly, a dark shadow started to cast over the hills as well as a thick fog slowly approached from the distance. Eren turned to Levi and saw a strange expression plastered on his face. It looked... Afraid. Or as if it contained a painful reminder. 

A green smoke flare flew up into the sky without warning. It pointed towards a familiar looking patch of tall trees. A painful memory slapped Eren in the face. That patch of trees, that particular forest, is where Levi's squad had been slaughtered. Was that why Levi had a strange fearful look? 

The sky and scenery was engulfed by a dark shadow. Heavy fog surrounded the area and infiltrated the formation. The fog was accompanied by heavy, painful sleet. Visibility decreased to only ten meters. Eren frantically looked around to see if he could see any further. 

"Everyone!" Levi voice called. "Stay close!" Levi's voice carried a certain heaviness. It wasn't steady. His voice was pitched in an odd way. 

Eren made his horse gallop closer to Levi's. Mikasa, Armin, and Jean repeated the same gesture. All of their hearts skipped a best when a high pitched scream was heard somewhere in the fog. 

(To be continued...)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahahahaha cliff hanger


	7. A Choice With Regrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HehehehehehhehehehehehehehehHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH enjoy

(Continued...)

The scream echoed throughout everyone's ears. After the scream finished, loud thumps boomed ominously through the trickle of the icy sleet. 

"Keep going and stay close!" Levi announced. Eren kept his gaze locked on Levi, who galloped on his horse at full speed ahead of him. Levi seemed as though he was in a panic. As if he had witnessed something like this before. 

The thumps in the distance grew louder and faster, as well as Eren's heartbeat. Eyesight was completely useless against the blinding and restricting fog. Although, out of the corner of Eren's eye, he saw Levi draw his blades. Like it was right on cue, a nine meter titan sprung out from the wall of fog. The horses jumped in terror as a result. Levi's horse kicked him off and sent him flying to the ground while Jean's horse fell on its side, trapping his right leg under its weight. 

The titan reached out for Jean with its giant hands when two 3DMG hooks caught its arm. Mikasa flew at the titan at maximum speed and sliced its wrist so that it's hand was hanging by a single muscle. Mikasa swore under her breath as her feet connected with the ground. Eren and Armin rushed over to help Jean while Levi and Mikasa went on to slay the giant. Levi ran up the titan's left forearm while Mikasa slashed at it's right arm. 

"Get up Jean!" Eren bellowed. He tried his best to shove the horse off. 

"Well I'm kind of trapped you know!" Jean barked. "Get this horse off of me!"

"What do you think we're trying to do horse-face?!" Eren hissed back. 

Finally the horse was up enough for Jean to slide his leg out from under it. As Jean got up, his right leg quickly gave out as it buckled and he fell to his knees again. Jean tried again but this time, pain surged throughout his leg as he fell back into Armin's arms. Eren ran over and threw Jean's arm over his shoulder, supporting him. Armin did the same with Jean's other arm. 

"Don't tell me you hurt your leg," Eren pulled Jean with him to his horse. 

"Well you try being stuck under a horse like that-"

"Guys watch out!" Armin squeaked. The titan that tried to attack the group started to fall towards the ground. Eren, Armin, and Jean jumped out of the way of the collapsing titan. 

"Hey!" Jean yelled. "Watch it-"

"There's no time for arguing you pest." Levi jumped off of the titan's neck. "We need to get to the forest as soon as possible." Levi swung his foot over his horse's back and grasped the reins. "Now hurry up and get on your horses." Everyone obeyed Levi's command and jumped onto their horse and followed Levi who galloped on his horse as fast as possible. Levi seemed so rushed or for the lack of a better word, panicky. 

Thankfully, just as Levi had predicted, the forest was very close to where they were before. 

"Tie your horses up quickly then get up into the trees. It's dangerous to be on the ground." Levi hopped off his horse and began tying his horse up. Eren could have sworn that he heard Levi mutter something but he didn't know what he had mumbled. Although, once again, the team obeyed Levi's orders and tied up their horses. Everyone used their 3DMG to get on a branch of the large pine tree that stood in front of them. 

Screams suddenly rose from the fog. Moments later an elite member of the Survey Corps flew over on their 3DMG. 

"Levi!" He alerted as he landed on a branch. "They need your help!" Panic took over the member's tone. His blue eyes were wide with fear and you could see his hands shaking slightly. 

Levi let out a small 'tch' then turned back and looked at everyone. 

"Stay up here and keep Eren safe." Levi said as he followed the fellow elite member deeper into the forest. 

(Eren's POV)

We waited about a good half an hour where Levi had 

I couldn't feel my hands because it was so cold. I was drenched from the frigid rain and sleet that continued to pour down. The fog limited my vision so much it was terrifying. All you could rely on was your sense of hearing and feeling. The steady vibrations of titan footsteps surged from the ground, up through the tree and to my feet. This was not good at all. I had no idea what was going on or what was to come. The only thing that continued to run through my mind was how Levi was acting. In all honestly, I never knew Levi could act in such a way. 

I jumped when I heard another scream rise through the fog. Even if we were in a forest, without visibility, there's really nothing to say other than you're screwed. 

My heart thumped in my chest to the point where it felt like it would burst. I felt lightheaded and weak. Perhaps it was just anxiety that was getting the best of me. Or the feeling of something bad was about to happen. I don't know how to explain it but it was like something was telling me that something horrifying was coming. I couldn't put my finger on it but it sure as hell felt like I've lived this moment before. 

The vibrations that continued at a steady pace began to grow stronger. The tree itself began to shake tremendously. 

"Eren," Mikasa alerted, "let's head deeper into the forest. It's not safe here." 

I glanced back over at the direction Levi flew off in. 

"But, Heichou said-"

"I don't care what that midget said." Mikasa interrupted. "It's safer in the forest, now come on. I'm sure that twerp will find us." Without another word, she fired a hook from her 3DMG and slowly began to fly away. I stole another look at my surroundings. Jean and Armin appeared to be listening to Mikasa as if she was the leader. I always trusted Mikasa and her sixth sense but this time it felt wrong. My gut told me to stay where I was and ignore Mikasa, and that I needed to keep a lookout. Although, I decided to listen to my sister and follow her, even though my gut told me otherwise. Perhaps this strange feeling in my gut was just butterflies or anxiousness. 

~~~

 

While nearly running into a couple of trees, I managed to stay within close range with Mikasa, and didn't lose sight of her. The fog seemed thicker in the forest unless it was just my imagination. At least the large trees shielded us from some of the harsh sleet. I could slowly feel my body temperature dropping. My hands shook from being bitterly cold, and my teeth chattered. 

I watched as Mikasa headed towards a large pine tree that stood somewhat alone in the middle of a circle of trees. We landed on one of the branches that was covered the most. The wind was not as strong nor was the freezing rain. As soon as I landed, I checked my surroundings once more. It was like a tiny voice kept nagging me at the back of my head to keep my eyes peeled. 

All of a sudden, a silhouette appeared from behind the tree in front of us. It dropped to its knees and a quiet cough was heard. The silhouette tried to get up once more but failed. Just then, a large cloud of fog covered my view of the strange person. It looked like they were serious injured from what I saw. 

"Hey," I waved my hand at the others to draw their attention while keeping my eyes locked on where the silhouette disappeared, "someone's injured over there." 

Everyone turned their heads in my direction. When the cloud of fog vanished, the silhouette was gone. 

"Eren what are you talking about?" Armin inquired. "No one's there."

"Yes there was! There was someone right there!" I pointed in the same direction again. "I'll go check it out." Without even hesitating for a second longer to think a about it, I used my 3DMG and zipped off. 

"Eren!" I heard someone shout, but their voice was too far behind by then I couldn't make it out. Another deep yell came from to the right of me. The thing is, it was close... Really close. That could possibly be the silhouette I saw screaming in pain, or a titan was close by. Neither of those were good in any way. 

A large thud startled me and made me lose my balance. I went swinging towards the tree and smashed into the branch. My head shot up instantly while my eyes darted around to see of anything was coming. Only the distant sound of someone using their 3DMG was what I could detect. 

"Eren!" Surprisingly Jean's voice called. "Jeez you damn idiot, don't just go flying off somewhere like that. Do you want to die?"

"Oh shut it horse-face." I hissed back. 

"Why you little-"

"Enough." Mikasa landed beside Jean on the branch in front of me. "Jean is right Eren. You can't just leave like that." Her tone was terrifyingly serious. 

Although I looked up at her. Her grey eyes darkened, but she wasn't looking at me. Her gaze was locked on something behind me. Confused and curious, I turned around and tried to follow her gaze. Somebody was struggling to climb up the tree that was only a few away from ours. I watched as they lost their grip but managed to regain it before they plummeted to the ground. I was able to see their cloak which was tattered and drenched in blood. Whoever it was, seemed to be in a lot of pain, but continued to push through no matter what. That must have been the silhouette I saw earlier!

"There they are!" I shouted. "See! They're injured! We have to help!" I immediately dashed off, trying to keep the silhouette in view. Once again

"EREN!" I didn't have time to look back and see who shouted because a large titan hand swung up in front of me. I darted to the side and just barely missed one of the titan's fingers. I collided with the tree my 3DMG's hook was connected to. I quickly flew up the tree just before the titan squished me like a bug. 

Suddenly, once I reached the branch, I heard a strange voice come from behind a wall of fog. 

"God that stupid brat..."

The voice echoed. I knew who it was. I turned around and saw another dark figure hanging off the tree next to the one I hung off of. I watched as the last wall of fog moved aside, revealing who it was. 

Levi.

He scrambled to climb the tree he hung onto. I looked around for the silhouette I had seen earlier... but they were no where to be found. 

"Levi!" I exclaimed cheerfully. My smile didn't last long though. Levi wasn't using his 3DMG for some odd reason and he also seemed to be limping. He attempted running towards me and nearly lost his balance in the process. 

Something seemed familiar about this though. They way he ran, the way he looked panicked, the way the whole scene looked. Although as Levi came more into view, I saw that his cloak was tattered and drenched in blood. Blood dripped from his leg severely, as well as his head and side. Suddenly, it hit me... Levi was the silhouette... 

"EREN WATCH OUT!" Armin screeched. I looked over at him in confusion. Mikasa was also panicking for me to turn around. 

Before I even got the chance to turn around, something shoved me from behind. I ran into the tree face first, while also nearly falling off the tree branch. 

"LEVI!" I heard Jean call. I flipped myself around and watched as a large hand grabbed Levi, who was standing in my previous position. 

"Levi!" Another familiar voice called. I saw Erwin, Hanji, and Mike zoom in with their 3DMG. But by then, the titan was just about to drop Levi in its mouth. Levi struggled and cringed in pain simultaneously. I couldn't move. My legs went weak and I couldn't speak or scream. I was frozen in time. Unable to do anything but watch in horror. 

Just when the titan held Levi over its mouth he yelled,

"Stay back! Protect-"

Then the titan's jaws snapped shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HA! Another cliff hanger! Lol! Ooohh is Levi dead? Dun dun dun. Who did he want to protect? And does this situation sound familiar? *cough cough* previous chapters *cough cough*


	8. Life or Death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Grab your tissues and take a seat... This won't be a calming chapter...

Silence ruled the moment. No one was able to react or even process what just happened. Rage, fear, horror, despair, grief, shock and regret. These were the only things people were allowed to feel right now. Eren stared ahead blankly. Levi... humanity's strongest soldier... was just eaten by a titan. 

"H-How?" Eren whispered to himself as he watched the titan swallow. Burning tears swelled in his eyes. Sorrow quickly left as the feeling of powerful rage immediately replaced it. 

"LEVI!" Eren screamed at the top of his lungs. Tears streaming down his face like small waterfalls. Eren used his 3DMG to dart around the titan. "I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL YOU!" Eren screeched at the titan, who had a devilish grin on its face. Eren's heart hurt in a way it never had before. It felt like his heart was about to shatter into a million pieces. He needed Levi back... But he was gone. 

Once again, as Eren was almost at the titan's nape, a large hand appeared out of no where. Eren spun out of control but quickly regained his balance by landing on the side of another tree. Suddenly, three titans appeared from the fog and joined with the other. 

Eren swung off of the tree and flew towards them. His heart... why did it hurt so much..? Nothing but the feeling of sorrow, despair, horror, and fear tugged at his beaten heart. No... Levi couldn't be dead... It... It was impossible... As Eren fought, everyone stayed silent and completely still. This was so... sudden. Eren gritted his teeth and flew at the titan again and again and again and again but each time, he missed his mark. Eren retreated to a tree in order to catch his breath. He looked down at his hands. They shook with the blades in them. His knuckles were pure white. Not only from the cold, but from clutching the blades too hard. Eren let a tear run down his face before he looked back up at the titans. Although, just before Eren could fly towards the giants again, something... strange happened. 

Something silver sliced through the side of the titan's face, cutting a line in the titan's cheek. It was the same titan that had slaughtered Levi. Soon, another line was cut, joining the other. Eren looked around to see if anyone was around slicing the titan from the outside, but then it struck him. The slices where coming from the inside. Next, the slices all lined up to form a square which made the piece of skin fall off. 

Everyone's jaw dropped as they saw what was inside. Levi was crouched on one of the titan's teeth. One of his blades stayed by his side while the other was stabbed into the titan's gum. Levi nearly slid down the titan's throat when he took his blade out of the titan's gum, but he quickly grabbed onto one of the teeth. Levi looked around, as if he was trying to find a way to jump. 

Eren's heart pounded with multiple emotions colliding with one another. His hands shook, whether it was from the cold, the situation, or both. So many emotions swirled in his head to the point where it was painful. 

Steam arose from the titan's injury. The hole that Levi had cut was already starting to heal rapidly. Just then, Levi stepped out of the titan's mouth and looked around frantically. Then... He did something unthinkable. He jumped straight out of the titan's mouth... Without using his 3DMG. Suddenly, another titan's hand grabbed him tightly. This time, Levi was able to slice off the titan's fingers, sending him plummeting back down to the ground. 

The same titan swung it's body around, swinging its other hand at Levi. The titan's hand made contact, and sent Levi flying towards a tree. Levi's limp body crashed into the tree with a vicious force. He flew down towards the ground once more. His body collapsed one the ground as if he was a corpse. He was completely motionless. 

"Levi!" Eren shouted, but he got no response from him. Although he saw Levi try to rise to his feet, but he quickly fell back to the ground. Eren immediately sprung up and flew down to him. 

Levi's body was quickly surrounded by a pool of blood. He choked up blood in a rough way. He could only breathe through haggard gasps. Levi struggled with every single breath he took and every single movement he made. Even having his eyes closed was a task that seemed nearly impossible. Levi's body pained like every nerve in his body was on fire. 

Finally, Eren reached Levi on the ground. He rushed over and held Levi in his arms. 

"Levi! Hey! Levi Wake up!" Eren shouted, frantically trying to get Levi to open his eyes. Levi's eyes slightly blinked open.

"E...Er..en..." Levi choked out. Tears streamed down Eren's face as he heard Levi's voice. He sounded weak and in complete agony. Eren quickly stole a glance behind him and saw everyone working together to slay the four titans that surrounded Levi and him. 

"Levi! Stay with me okay? Hang in there! We'll make it out of here!"

Levi weakly looked into Eren's eyes, before his body went limp in Eren's arms. Levi's eyes shut slowly as one quiet breath escaped his mouth. Eren frantically shook Levi in a panic. Tears invaded Eren's eyes. Why did Levi shove him out if the way? Eren could've escaped the titan on his own. He remembered what Hanji said before: "He may seem like a cold, bitter person that is unapproachable, but, once you get to know him, he cares about his comrades a lot."

"Levi! Wait! Hang in there! Levi! Levi please!" 

Just at that moment, all four titans collapsed dead onto the ground. Also the fog seemed to be lifting as a small ray of faint sunshine shot through in the distance. Erwin and Hanji were the first to land beside Eren. Erwin quickly knelt down and placed his fingers on Levi's neck. A small sigh of relief left his lips. 

"He's alive..." Erwin sighed as he stood up. "But not for long. We need to head back. We have too many injured and dead to keep going." Erwin took one last look at Levi. 

Eren looked back and saw that all of the fog had disappeared. The only thing left was a light sprinkle of rain and an overcast sky along the blue flare that Erwin shot up. Soon, other blue flares were visible over the tree tops. 

"Quickly," Erwin instructed, "we need to head back immediately."

~

(Eren's POV)

The rain had stopped completely and the bitter winds were less intense. Everyone had received the message of a retreat. We were on our way back to the Karanes District. There were 53 injured and about 1/5th of the Survey Corps were dead. I looked back down at Levi's body. I rode in the same cart with him. Guilt swirled around my head, nagging at me with a loud voice. I felt like all of this was my fault. If only I had of been watching my surroundings, Levi wouldn't be on death's doorstep.

"Please be okay Levi..." I whispered to myself. "You have to be... Humanity needs you... I need you-" I stopped myself after that last statement. What was I saying? My heart started to beat in the same strange way it had been beating before. It was a kind of heartbeat that made me get butterflies in my stomach. I realized, my heart only felt like this when I looked at Levi. The way he speaks, the way he looks, the way he acts... They ignited this feeling in my heart. Perhaps... I looked at Levi in a different way. Was it wrong to think of Levi... Attractive..? 

I shook my head and rubbed my forehead. No... This was just me being delusional. My main focus was making sure Levi was still alive. I placed my fingers on his neck and checked for a pulse. There was a pulse, but it was extremely faint. I lifted my head and saw the wall in the distance. I prayed that we'd make it there in time. His bandages were stained red all the way through. His leg was the most heavily bandaged, then his side, then his head and arm. His right leg looked broken, along with his left arm. He also looked so pale.

I prayed that we'd make it there in time... We had to... No matter what the costs. 

LLLLL

We were about one hundred meters away from the gate when I looked over at Levi. Pain was plastered over his face. I watched as he cringed in agony. Even though he was still unconscious, he could probably still feel the pain. I took another look at his bandages. They were even more stained than before, each and every one of them. He was loosing too much blood. At this rate... No. I can't think about that. I have to believe that he'll be alright. He has to be! He's Humanity's Strongest Soldier! He will make it! 

Looking up at the wall, hope and belief filled my spirit. We'll make it in time. He'll will be okay... I thought as I already saw the gate opening. As everyone slowed down, the carts with severely injured continued to go at full speed, including the one I was in with Levi. In no time, we dashed through the gate. Townspeople screaming and jumping out of the way of the incoming carts. The first thing I heard was,

"W-Was that..?"

"No way..."

"It's Levi Heichou!" 

Those sentences swirled around in my mind and hovered by my ears. I looked down at Levi, trying to keeps tears at bay. Then I realized something. His pained expression was gone. His body laid still on the cart, and his silver eyes closed in a dead-like state. It was like... I was looking at a corpse. 

As the hospital approached, my heart was about to burst out of my chest. My hands started to shake once again, I felt dizzy, and I could barely breathe. Finally the cart came to a stop and I quickly helped the others lift Levi's body up off of the cart. I stared blankly as they hastily rushed Levi inside. Fists formed themselves in my hands. I shut my eyes tightly, scared to open them again or even to move. Although, I forced my legs to run and I dashed inside. 

"Quickly! He's losing too much blood!" I heard a voice call. 

"Hurry!" Another voice screamed.

I continued running at full speed, trying to reach Levi before they took him out of my reach. My eyes darted around everywhere as I searched for him. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw him. I sprinted towards him at full speed... But I was too late. The nurse grabbed my arm and held me back. 

"Let me go! I need to make sure he's going to be okay!" I hissed in a panic. 

"You can't!" She screamed back at me. "We'll take over from here. You need to stay here." Her crystal blue eyes stared right into mine. I looked back and saw that Levi was gone. The nurse let go of my arm and ran off. 

"Wait!" I called to her. She stopped and turned back at me. "Will... Will he be okay?"

There was a long pause, like she was trying to think of what she could say. Her big eyes stared at me for a moment. Without receiving an answer, she ran off down the hallway. I stood there in silence. All I could hear was distant yelling along with citizens commenting about what they just saw outside. This was... such a big shock to everyone. Who knew.... I would ever feel this helpless before... Who knew... That Levi's bad feeling about this expedition was right.. Who knew... that everything would go so wrong..?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy... Will Levi be okay? Who knows...


	9. Worry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY BAES OML  
> I've been gone for so long! XD and I left you with the worst cliff hanger ever! I'm sorry! But I've learned to improve my writing a bit *wink wink*   
> Hopefully you guys enjoy!

(Eren's POV)

It had been three full days , and not a word about humanity's strongest soldier's condition. The only one who knew anything was Erwin (What a surprise). It was unbelievable how worried I was, and the thing was, I didn't know why. My mind kept telling me that he was definitely going to pull through but my gut strangely disagreed. 

My fault. This was all my fault. If I hadn't have been such a fucking idiot, Levi wouldn't be fighting for his life right now! God, that's what hurt the most. Everything about this ached worse than hell itself. Just to know that humanity's strongest soldier could potentially lose his life because of me was horrific. If you haven't noticed by now, I have a pretty loaded reputation... Of all the wrong things. I don't need 'got rid of basically humanity's only hope' on that list either. 

The strange thing was... everyone was so calm. Yes there were whispers and rumors going around, but that was it. It was actually scary. Hanji seemed completely calm, not a trace of worry in her eyes, unless the glasses providing a little shield to hide any emotion. Sadly, I don't have that. Every little emotion I experience is apparently broadcasted all over my face. I might as well just write everything I think of on my forehead. I guess this could be a blessing or a curse, actually. People must have seen how worried I was because I've been getting a lot more attention lately. Armin keeps trying to help me forget what happened but, let's face it... It's kind of hard to. Levi... Known for never falling, never getting hurt, seeming invincible... was on the ground, bloody... and seemingly dead. Even the slightest thought or mention or even look from someone could trigger everything back. It's not just a small reminder either, it's like I'm living life on repeat. I can hear the screams, feel my heart racing, and literally sense the panic. It's a living nightmare. 

Nonetheless, Armin and Mikasa try their best, which I appreciate but, I'd much rather deal with this on my own. That's always been my thing. Sometimes I do need help... But I never say anything. There's just something about people 'caring' for you. It makes you feel vulnerable. It makes you feel even worse than before because they act like it's killing me or I'm suffering through depression. Do you get where I'm going with this? As much as 'help' is appreciated... just knowing you need it makes you feel worse. 

I didn't fall asleep for a while tonight. My thoughts were running like crazy, the flashes of what happened never letting up. I stared at the ceiling with my hands creating a little platform for my head to lay on behind me. When you're awake during the middle of the night, you hear every little sound. The thing was... it was dead silent tonight. Not even Mother Earth wanted to create any sound. The silence was so intense, it was deafening. All I could remember was the sound of Levi walking past my room, sometimes flipping through papers. But, that lively noise was replaced by deathly quiet. It was enough to drive a person mad. 

Thankfully, later on that night, I managed to close my eyes and get some sleep... yeah... 'some'. Of course, I was awakened by a nightmare. It was strangely off the topic of the events that took place three days ago. It was all on me. I was sitting in the middle of the road, staring ahead. I had this strange sensation lingering on my lips, like they had been freshly kissed. I looked down and my hands were tied tightly with rope and there was a blade held to my neck. I heard screams behind me, like they were telling someone to stop. Who? I don't know. I heard someone familiar struggling beside me but I couldn't turn my head in fear that I would lose it. 

'Let go of me you fucking shitheads!' 

Levi. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw it. There had to be at least six or seven soldiers holding him down against the ground. He put up a fierce fight, that was for sure. 

'I said let go!' He hissed with an icy tone I had never heard before. I couldn't grasp the situation. What the hell was even happening? All I knew was that if I moved, I'd be dead in seconds. Soon, the world around me began to fade to black and I heard a gunshot. A body collapsed to the ground then so did I. 

-

I woke up with a jolt, panting and frantically looking around. This nightmare wasn't the worst I've ever seen... but for some reason, it terrified me more than the rest of them. My heart was racing so fast it hurt. He panted and then tried to force myself to relax. I rubbed my eyes and swore under my breath. Suddenly, I heard footsteps outside my door. My eyes widened and he looked up, listening. Paper. I heard paper flipping. No, no way! 

I sprung out of bed silently and ran over, peeking out the keyhole. My heart was pounding and my hope was strangely growing for some reason. I looked out quietly, my eyes wide. 

Erwin. Oh. Why did I expect anyone else? 

He walked through the hallway, flipping through some papers he held in his hands. I frowned and moved back to my bed. I looked back up at the faint moonlight coming in through a window and I got lost in my thoughts. Levi. Injured. Life and death. Sounds. Nighttime. Erwin. Hospital. Levi. Guilt. All my fault. Levi. Worry. Calm. Reputation. Levi. Levi. Levi. God I couldn't take it anymore! Three days of silence wasn't helping any of us! To be left in the dark about Levi's condition was literally killing me! This is the worse kind of torture anyone could ever conjure! 

Then, I got an idea. Why should I wait? What if I just went and checked..? What?! No! I can't just prance into a hospital like that! But... who said I had to go through the entrance? Wait, what the hell was I thinking?! But... The idea was intriguing. 

I looked up at the window and thought to myself. Everyone's asleep... I'd be quiet... careful... No one would notice. My mind went back and forth but God I couldn't take it anymore! I care about Levi! I have to admit it! I've always had feeling... a feeling of admiration... a feeling of safety whenever he was around... a feeling of... attraction. I know, I know, it sounds strange but I can't help it! Maybe it was just how appealing he was. I mean, he has fans everywhere. It's like a girl being a fan of someone famous. Everyone experiences it... right?

Despite my strange thoughts, one stood out. I stood up and grabbed my cloak, flipping it inside out. I put my shoes on and pulled the hood of my cloak up. I also changed my clothes into something dark. Of course I couldn't exactly dress like a ninja, but I did what I could. 

I opened the door and slowly snuck out of my room. Creeping through the hallways, I somehow managed to make my way to the exit. With no sound anywhere in the building, it was hard to be discreet with this. How the hell was I going to open the door? It's squeaky as hell and it makes a horrific loud noise when it's closed and opened. I bit my lip and thought. Oh! The windows maybe! I remember when we first came here... And Levi ordered all of us to clean. God, and his dramatic way of opening the windows... the way his arms moved... the way he looked from the back--whoa! Okay! Time out time out! Let's focus on the fucking task at hand! 

I quickly and quietly ran to the windows and I bit my lip. With a faint 'fuck it', I opened the window quickly, just like a bandaid. It was... louder than I'd like it to be but I quickly climbed out nonetheless. I closed the window and scaled the building as fast as I could before I dropped to the ground. I looked back and bit my lip harder before shaking my head and running off. 

-

I grabbed my horse quickly and started riding off. Once again... It wasn't exactly discreet but I could get back and forth from town quickly, and make a quick get away if I needed to. It was a cold night, that was for sure. I held onto the reigns of my horse tightly and kept my hood up.

The ride into town seemed annoyingly long tonight, but I made it there soon enough. I stationed my horse out the outskirts of town and swiftly ran into town. Unfortunately... there were more people around than what I had expected. 

Sprinting my way through alleyways, I quickly made it to the 'hospital', which thankfully, wasn't that far from where my horse was. I looked up then paused. Okay... I'll be honest... I didn't exactly think this through. Now that I was there, I had no idea what to do. I bit my lip again and searched for options. Finally, I was able to come up with an idea, and mind you yes, it wasn't exactly the best idea ever created but hey, it was something. I looked back then began to climb the building, clutching onto the thin bricks with my cold fingers. I looked in through multiple windows. Nothing. 

Okay... I admit it... This was the worst decision I've ever made. Well... There was no going back now. I climbed and climbed, and just before I gave up, the moonlight reflecting off of a certain shade of black hair caught my eye. I quickly scrambled to see and I peeked in. My eyes widened and I nearly lost my grip. I had to make sure what I was seeing was real. I silently climbed in the conveniently open window and looked at the body in front of me. 

Levi was literally covered in bloody bandages. His expression still seemed pained and distressed. Honestly, being stabbed would hurt less than this. He had stitches, from wounds I didn't even know he had, everywhere. A bandage hugged his head and arms as well as his torso and his legs. I shakily walked over and knelt by his bed. I looked at his frail hand resting on the mattress and I slowly reached up, taking it in mine. Those hands have killed hundreds of Titans... and yet... they looked so small. So fragile, like glass. I noticed bandages wrapped heavily around his wrists as well. A reminder of when I witnessed him playing the piano ripped through my mind. The blood dripping from his wrist... The look of satisfaction when he saw the blood flow. 

I looked from his hand to his face, looking over every little detail. He looked so... I don't even know the word for it. Yes, he looked in pain but... God he looked perfect. His jawline seemed even sharper ay this angle. The way his hair shone in the moonlight and the way his pale skin practically glowed with the moonlight as well. His lips looked so soft... and, ugh, just everything about him. I stared at him for a moment before finally admitting something to myself I had been ignoring for a long time...

I loved Levi.


	10. Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fINALLY. SOME ERERI FLUFF

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short Chapter, bUT IM BACK GUYS. AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR AMAZING COMMENTS OML I LOVE YOU GUYS! And in this chapter, I rewarded you guys with some Ereri fluff. Enjoy

I hated it. I hated how I felt. Me of all people... falling in love with someone. Some I couldn't even have. Of course no one knew what um... Levi was really uh... Into. But he was straight from what I knew... Which crushed my heart. I had seen the way he cared for and gazed at Petra... That was love... wasn't it? I mean I'm not stupid! I even overheard Hanji talking to Levi about Petra... and how Petra's father mentioned something about marriage. I didn't hear the full conversation as I was only passing to go see Armin but I had heard enough.

I stared at Levi's hand, brushing my thumbs over his soft knuckles. Had he waken up yet..? I know Erwin was the only one who was able to stay in here... but he never said anything about Levi waking up or if he was even in a coma. As much as I recognize that they're probably keeping Levi's condition from the others to not cause any rumors or worries, it was agitating. I know I've probably said that a million times already but it was true... it was torture. In all honesty however, you would think that I should have a right to know how Levi is doing considering how... I'm the one who caused it.

I was quickly brought out of my thoughts as I felt the gentle hand that rested in mine move. I nearly threw his goddamn hand for crying out loud. I moved, ready to bolt back out of the window I had well... kind of broken into... but I stopped. A grip. Something... or someone was holding my hand. I turned back to find Levi's frail fingers intertwine with mine. My gaze instantly shot back up to his expression. It... had gotten softer. He wasn't awake but... His expression was gentle, soft, relaxed. How it contrasted against the one he had had not even a moment ago. My heart jumped and my imagination went crazy. However, all of that joy and excitement quickly faded away as I realized that he had probably only instinctively felt a hand and grabbed it. Hell, my hand could feel like the handle to his goddamn blade for crying out loud.

With a painfully ecstatic heart, I held his hand back, continuing to brush my thumb gently over his bruised knuckles. I gazed back up at his face--that seemed to be sculpted by God himself--and felt myself relax. I couldn't help but let out a small chuckle as I could picture him going on about how 'dirty' the place was and how he didn't need those 'fucking bandages'. Or maybe even how he would be insisting that he's fine and that the nurses were being  
'rude'. Or maybe... he would just accept it? It was fun to picture it going either way.

Suddenly... I felt something come over me. The clouds in the sky completely moved out of the way of the bright moon and allowed it to pour its light over the town. I watched as the moonlight caused Levi's flawless pale skin to glow with a slightly blue tint. I slowly got up, keeping Levi's hand in mine. I walked over, closer to his face. I leaned over, looking over the soft lips I had been secretly admiring for ages. I gently bit my own lip, trying to tame the burning craving sensation I had in the pit of my stomach. I got down on one knee, leaning so close to the point where I could feel his gentle breath brush past my skin. I could do it. I could kiss him. I could kiss him and no one would know... Not even him. Just one... to calm this antagonizing feeling that just wouldn't go away. Who knows when I'll get another opportunity like this? Probably never.

I got closer, I was going to do it. I was finally going to kiss him... Finally... I could satisfy myself and get this feeling shoved to the side and carry on with life--

However, as my lips were literally two inches away from his... I heard a voice outside. I froze and pulled back, listening like I was a child who should be in bed but he hears his mother coming to his bedroom.

"Are you sure this is were you saw them?" A loud, official sounding voice questioned.

"Yes, they had a dark cloak and climbed up that wall..." An elderly lady's voice responded.

Wow thanks you old hag. I forced myself to let go of Levi's hand and slowly moved to the window, but at an angle of course. I peeked out from the corner of the window and saw two Garrison soldiers speaking with an elderly woman. Leave it to the Garrison to take the roll of cops. Note my sarcasm. Shouldn't they be out drinking at this time of night?

"Thank you ma'am." One said and then nodded to his comrade who went racing towards the front entrance while the other started to look up the wall, seeing if they could spot anyone or anything. I cursed under my breath and then backed up, trying to find a way out. I turned and went to race out of the room before stopping.

Levi.

Goddamn that beautiful man, honestly. And goddamn my fucking temptations. I quickly ran back to Levi's side, doing probably the most fucking stupidest and idiotic and amateur thing I've ever done. I leaned down, finally pressing my lips against his, and holy shit it felt good. It was like the cold didn't exist anymore. My body felt warm... happy... fuzzy. My heart was racing with adrenaline and I quickly pulled back, still stunned at myself for what I had just done.

I quickly pulled up my hood again, turning and sprinting out of his room as quickly and as quietly as possible. I turned and ran down the hallway, approaching the window at the end of it. I looked back and then peeked out of it, seeing no one there. Well, this night was proving to be one of my most brilliant ideas.

I swiftly opened the window and climbed out. Let me tell you, climbing up a wall is a hell of a lot easier than climbing down. I couldn't see where I was going thanks to my cloak. And to make it even better, I lost my footing halfway through and plummeted to the ground, landing straight down on my ankle and wrist with a fairly loud thud. You know, I would've been happy that I was by a hospital at the time but since I was pretty much an 'intruder', it wasn't as convenient as you'd think. Even better, the pain that shot up through my arm and leg was painful as hell. Not as painful as getting your arm and leg bitten off but pretty close.

I winced and sat up quickly, holding my ankle painfully. I slowly stood up, hopping along. I heard a shout from behind me, a sudden, "You there! Stop!" Well. Shit. I forced my ankle to support my weight as I started running, wanting to scream at every single step. I bolted down an alleyway and turned and spotted my horse. Perfect. I ran over, hopping up onto the saddle and whipping the reigns to get him to start running. The shouting was getting quieter and I chuckled breathlessly to myself. As usual, the Garrisons were horrible cops.

-

The trip back seemed longer than the trip down in all honesty. I was exhausted by then. It had to be at least an hour or two before morning judging by the moon's position. I yawned as I made my way back, slowly getting off my horse and letting it back into the stable. I winced at the pain in my wrist and ankle but pushed through it. I turned and struggled to get back in the way I got out. No one was up, which was strange. I slowly closed the window and tip toed back into my room, closing the door steadily. I flung my get up to the side and practically collapsed on my bed. I looked up, staring at the ceiling.

His lips.

That was all that was on my mind. His... sweet... soft lips. I lifted my fingers up gently to brush over my own lips. I ran my tongue along my bottom lip, still being able to taste the sweet flavor of him. But that was when it hit me. Holy shit. I kissed Levi. I _kissed_ Levi. On the _lips_. When he was _unconscious_. What the actual hell?! Oh my god! What the hell did I just do?! Holy crap I'm such an idiot! My first ever kiss, A) with a guy! And B) when they weren't even aware of it! That was wrong wasn't it! You have to have consent for that kind of thing! And the guilt kept building and building and building. I told myself over and over again, 'no one will know' in order to calm myself down... but I had to admit...

I didn't regret it.

-

I yawned and stretched out of my contortionist position in my bed as the morning light woke me from the dead of sleep. I reluctantly sat up and rubbing my eyes, stretching one more time and cracking my back. I slowly stood and then walked out of my room, pain throbbing through my leg. Thankfully, I know how to push through pain. As soon as I turn to head down the hallway, I instantly running into Armin and Mikasa.

"Oi! Eren!" Armin waved and smiled, jogging over to me.

"Hey guys, how did you sleep?" I asked casually, a bright smile on my face.

"Good, but not as good as you apparently." Armin says and chuckles. "What's with the smile? Have a good sleep?"

I simply smiled and said, "Oh yeah... A really good sleep..."


	11. UPDATE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOT A CHAPTER: UPDATE

OH MY HECKIN HECK GUYS, I AM SUPER SORRY FOR BEING GONE FOR SO LONG!  
I had lost the password to this account and I couldn't remember/access the email in order to change the password! bUT I FINALLY MANAGED TO CRACK IT YESTERDAY AND WOO IM BACK  
BUT FIRST ID LIKE TO THANK EVERYONE FOR ALL THE KIND COMMENTS AND ENCOURAGEMENT! THIS FANFIC WILL DEFINITELY BE UP AND RUNNING AGAIN NOW! THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING SO PATIENT WITH MY BS 


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